In My Daughters Eye's

The Moreland News that is fit to print….

2011-12-28T14:49:00.000-06:00

Dana…

· finished a graduate certificate in online education.

· begins a new Master’s program in January.

· convinced Marion to begin working on a showcase for Iowa Dancesport Classic 2012.

· started playing Rift.

· continues to work at Rockwell.

· co-ordinated round dancing for the Iowa State Square Dance Convention.

Marion…

· began a new job at Immaculate Conception and St. Wenceslaus Parishes and loves it!

· had vertigo for 5 months!

· continues to work on her B.S. in Sports and Health Science and to stay on the Dean’s List.

· is still educating Charlene at home.

· is helping plan a wedding!

· doesn’t have much free time!

· regained 15 of the 85 pounds she lost and is trying to lose it again plus more.

Christina…

· is busy being engaged to Daniel.

· danced a tango with Brice at Iowa Dancesport Classic as well as several other routines with other students.

· sang the National Anthem at the Iowa State Square Dance Convention.

· spends lots of time driving to Daniel’s parent’s home.

· called an awesome square dance in Minneapolis, MN.

chaperoned at Eagle Eye in Princeville, IL.

Catherine…

· danced a swing/tango routine with Christina at Iowa Dancesport Classic.

· quit working at Hy-Vee

· began working at David’s Bridal.

· began dating Alex 6 months ago.

· is the maid of honor in Christina’s wedding.

· joined the Confirmation Team at Immaculate Conception Church.

Charlene…

· got to have her best friend Krista come visit over the summer

· stepped over the reading hump and read her first real size book!

· is a bridesmaid in Christina’s wedding.

· joined the funeral choir at Immaculate Conception Church.

I’m sure there is more, but that’s a reasonable summary.

Merry Christmas to all and a blessed New Year!

Laundry List

2011-10-03T13:45:00.000-05:00

There have been so many times over the last several months while I was driving to or from work that I thought, ‘I should update my blog.’ Unfortunately, I can’t do that while I’m driving and as soon as I get to one destination or the other I find there are more pressing things to do.

The other day, I was feeling guilty because I usually send printed copies of my blog to my mother-in-law just so she can keep up with what is going on in our crazy lives. There was a point when I thought I should update my blog to let her know what’s going on but it only took me a minute to say that if I was just updating my blog to update my mother-in-law, I should probably pick up the phone and call her! Which I did!

Today, I just want to write and I don’t have my thoughts collected for my school work. It seems logical that I could get a few of these blog thoughts out of my head by putting them on paper and make room for the processing of the school thoughts. Hang tight while I give you some of the miscellaneous things that I meant to post about, but haven’t had the chance to…

My vertigo is gone. We don’t know what caused it, but it vanished after a few months.

Weight is so/so. It seems that my new thyroid meds weren’t working, so we’ve switched back to the old one and I’m optimistic. I’ve gone back up about 25 pounds and really want to get it going the other way. New food allergies prevent me from going back on the program I was doing before. I’m still an emotional eater and this is still a struggle for me. I can’t expect a lifetime of bad behavior to change in a few months. While it’s frustrating, there is at least a part of me that is realistic.

The girls all have new food sensitivities. Charlie has the longest list so far and actually she had some more testing done that we will have the results of next week. It’s a change for all of us. I keep saying we need to focus on what we can eat rather than what we can’t, but that is easier said than done.

Christina and Daniel are officially engaged!!! The date is set for August 18, 2012 which will be Dana and my 28^th anniversary. I’m so happy for them. Wedding plans are in the works to say the least!

Cat is looking for a job that she will enjoy. In the meantime, she has been such a huge help to me with all these doctor appointments and our busy life.

I don’t mention this often enough, but I have awesome daughters!!! For all of the little silly things we butt heads about, they really are great. When someone in the family needs help, they are there for them.

Charlie’s reading is coming along well! We decided to have her work with a tutor over the summer which really just got her over a hump and now she is making great progress. Some friends of ours gave us a dream program to help her through the year, so we are excited to be using that and so thankful for their gift!

Dana’s work is continuing at least through March which is always a good thing. He’s also finishing his last two classes on a Master’s certificate program and then, he’s going to switch to a different college to work on his Master’s. The current school has an online teaching component he was interested in, but the management portion was more related to business management rather than project management which is his real interest. The new program should be a good thing for him.

Speaking of Dana, he and I are working on a showcase for IDC in March. We will be dancing an East Coast Swing number. It’s going to stretch both of us theatrically and technically, but we are excited about the challenge. I suppose I could get really nervous, and I might later, but for now, I am just so thankful to be able to have fun dancing with the man I love!

I read Matthew Kelly’s latest book called “Off Balance”. I highly recommend it; particularly for those of you that think you are struggling with the idea of balancing work and personal life.

I’m also reading Brant Pitre’s “Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist” which Fr. Chris recommended to me. With the upcoming changes to the translation of the English Mass, it’s a great time to reflect on liturgy and why Catholics do what we do. Another recommendation would be Ed Sri’s “Biblical Walk Through the Mass”. Catholics need to know why we do what we do.

Dreambuilding is still high on my list of thoughts. I’d love to take the program that the Floyd Foundation has, but it’s just not in the budget. I’d also like to be able to work with others to help achieve their dreams. My work at church has been great at dovetailing into this because our goal as a church is to get everyone to heaven. How do we get everyone to heaven? By helping people become the best version of themselves. It sounds pretty trite, but on a practical level there are so many areas we can help. I’m beginning a book study on the Rhythm of Life, but I’m exploring financial planning, life skills, end of life planning and all sorts of areas that we, as a local church, can be of help to our members. It’s awesome that I get to work with Confirmation students in that process as well.

“Choices create habits, habits create character, and your character is your destiny”. This line has been a focus for me lately because it truly is those little things that we do that define us. That quote is from Matthew Kelly, but I’ve been thinking lately how much this ties in with what Yvonne and I were doing when we were writing for The Little Way. We talked about building daily habits that would have lasting effects. Want to know where your life is going? Look at your habits. Want to change your life? Change your habits.

Every time I go back and read what I wrote 10 years ago, I think about how I am at such a different place and that it would be really hard to clean up those writings and actually published them and yet, I realize it’s those habits that have brought me where I’m at now. The things that I struggled with 10 years ago are not my struggles now. Wasn’t that the point? In a way, that gives me hope that the things I struggle with today will not be my struggles 10 years from now. Perhaps God will bring an editor into our lives that can help us with this project that has been looming forever.

School for me is plugging along. I haven’t had any really difficult classes, but they keep me busy. I have my next year timed out to finish the end of July and then, I will take at least August off for the last minute wedding stuff and the collapse afterwards.

It’s kind of funny that as I have had all these doctor appointments lately they will say to me how are you feeling. Generally the response is ‘Well, I’m kind of tired’, but the truth is that I work almost full-time, I’m a full-time student, I’m homeschooling a child and well, we do have a home to take care of. I’d expect any body to be a bit tired doing all of that!

The biggest area that I’m doing an attitude check on myself is if I find myself saying “I just need to get through…” This has been one of those topics that has resurfaced over and over that I’d like to write about. Writing helps me sort out my thoughts and usually helps me adjust my habits. I have realized that I don’t want to just get through anything. I want to enjoy it. Sometimes I will enjoy the challenge and other times I can enjoy the pure pleasure, but if I am doing something to ‘just get through it’ then I really need to look at why I’m doing it and what my attitude is toward what I’m doing. I don’t really have the time to completely address this now, but I wanted to throw it out there and see if I get any comments.

If every moment is a gift from God then doesn’t that challenge us to do something more than just get through them? I know the next year is going to be busy with work, school and wedding planning. I am certain things will be crazy and I will be frantic and frustrated at moments, but I don’t want to just get through those moments. I want to be present to the family that has just lost a loved one. I want the young people that I work with to know that I am there for them. I want to cherish this last year before high school with Charlie and my time with Cat before she goes off to school. I want to enjoy helping Christina and Dan plan and celebrate their wedding. I’m pretty convinced that if I feel like I just need to get through something (other than my upcoming oral surgery) then, I really need to look at my attitude and where my priorities are out of order. As for the oral surgery type things, those are just made for offering up! ;-)

Well, that’s the hit list of topics for now anyway. I’m praying for each of you!

24 hours in a day

2011-06-06T10:21:00.000-05:00

We all have twenty-four hours in a day. It seems unfair for me to say that I haven’t had time to write because we all have time; it’s what we do with it. For my part, I have spent some of those hours sleeping, working, studying, visiting doctors, exercising, eating, dancing, bumping into walls, celebrating a graduation and doing a few other miscellaneous tasks that I have no recollection of now. What I guess I’m saying is I just didn’t’ make writing a priority.

I am now at about two months of vertigo like symptoms that don’t really feel like vertigo. I’m finally learning to cope in more and more situations, but there are some, like square dancing, large crowded rooms or really busy places with lots of movement that just don’t work. The last doctor I saw said that perhaps it was “Chronic Motion Intolerance” and I wanted to say to her, “Well, DUH!” I was glad I took Dana with my on that appointment because apparently there’s a part of the examination that she did that I have no recollection of either! My next stop is a neurologist in July. In the meantime, I’ve been doing physical therapy to help with some pain I’ve been having that may or may not be related to the other problem.

I know this probably comes across as a bit sarcastic, which fits if you know me, but I really am doing okay. I’ve had to limit some of my activities which is not what I want to do after having lost weight; particularly when an alternate activity is eating but I just need to learn to do other things, like sit on the couch motionless and do nothing. Seriously though, I know the weight loss thing is about discipline and I know that it’s always been a struggle for me to maintain that self-discipline when I’m busy, so this is the perfect opportunity for me to grow. (As I wrote that I realized I should clarify that I really don’t want to grow physically, but rather, I want to grow in personal grace and strength to persevere.)

I’m going to be a particularly brave tomorrow and help chaperone a trip to a water park. I have no idea how that will go, but it was planned before I realized I’d be in my own little foggy world and I don’t really want to back out on it. It’s an opportunity to get to know some of the other youth ministers in the area as well as spending some time with Cat and Charlie.

Dad is having his knee replacement surgery tomorrow as well, so please keep him and Mom in your prayers.

Someplace in the blurry weeks since I’ve written, Cat graduated from high school with honors in dance! It was a nice ceremony. I really appreciate the individuality that the homeschool association puts into the ceremonies. We had some guests from Colorado for the weekend that made celebrating even more fun. Ben drove out on Thursday and then Mitch, Peggy, Amanda and Adam arrived Saturday around lunch after having driven all night. We had a party at Dance New York and even managed to dance a little! For her future plans, Cat is going to work another year here and then plans to study cosmetology at an Aveda Campus. The question is which one.

We are waiting to hear what the status will be of Dana’s work, but I think that’s normal for us. There are opportunities; it’s just finding the right one. Dana continues to plug away on his masters degree. He’s happy to be back riding his bike to work and his new video game of choice is Rift.

I love my job! Sometimes it’s a little crazy and I find myself craving a structure that’s not there, but I’m learning. I taught a Confirmation class yesterday which was really cool. I’m working with another person to complete a program that was begun last year. It’s a little tricky to walk in at the end, but I think it went well. Particularly helpful is the team of young people we have working with us. We have one more class and a retreat with this group before their Confirmation. In the scope of work, we had a lull in funerals, but they seem to be picking up again and we’ve also added some weddings to the mix.

I’m relieved to be finished with one of my more difficult class, Advanced Anatomy and Physiology. I think clearly they mistook me for someone who was pursing medicine not coaching/training. I’m enjoying a Sports First Aid and a Nutrition class. I’m sure it will get crazy again in a couple of weeks when I get to finals. Then, of course there we be new classes the next week!

Well, I have rambled enough. My thoughts aren’t always as clear as I would like them to be much less my ability to communicate them, but I figured at a minimum this was an update.
Blessings and prayers,
Marion

Twelve Funeral and a Wedding

2011-04-24T12:20:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my new job! I started my new job a little over forty days ago. I know this because it was the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday and today is Easter. It has been a whirlwind of events and experiences to say the least and I love it! They tell me that before I started they had only had one funeral in the previous couple of months and since I’ve started there have been at least twelve between the two parishes. I joked with Father that the parishioners were going to want him to fire me if they kept dying, but in truth we know it is a reality of a parish with an older population.

Being able to work with all of these families to plan the funerals of their loved ones makes me think. I really want to take some time with Dana and sit down and select the Scripture readings and music I want for my funeral Mass. I’ve seen that it can be difficult for families to decide what a person would have wanted and sometimes they are left guessing or leaving it to someone else to select. Selecting the Scripture to be read at my funeral gives my one final opportunity to share my faith with them.

My dear sister Yvonne, must have had some thoughts along the same line. It’s not uncommon that we are thinking along similar paths. I popped out to her blog the other day and found this post entitled “Thinking Ahead”. She shares her thoughts on what she wants to happen when she dies. I will leave it at saying that we are like minded in many ways.

Okay, I’ll change subjects now because I know that one makes some people uncomfortable…

Work is good! It’s busy but I am really enjoying it. I am getting to meet some great people and it’s amazing to be in a parish with such history. There is rarely a dull moment as I work to make progress on what I was asked to do and deal with the reality of what I need to do. I have a great, albeit busy, boss and the rest of the staff between the two parishes are awesome as well.

The biggest challenge of working is learning to balance my time between work, school and home. In March I started an eight week Sports Psychology Class and then in April I began my Advanced Anatomy and Physiology class. I’ll leave it at saying the A & P class is tough! In May, I will start a Sports First Aid and a Nutrition class. I’ll see how they look the first week but I may drop the first aid class just to try to keep some level of sanity. I think the Nutrition class will be well timed for the health part of my journey, which leads me to my next subject…

How’s the weight loss going? I went off of IP in December and maintained my weight until about a month ago. Over the last month, my weight has gone up 7-10 pounds. That could be that I am gaining muscle which we’ve all heard weighs more than fat or it could be that I’ve been slacking a bit in my eating habits. I tend to think it’s a combination of both but in either case, it’s a good time to re-evaluate where I’m at and what I’m doing or not doing. I haven’t gone over the deep end and started eating like I used to, but there are a couple of “healthy” foods that I’m probably eating too much of. That’s why I said that I think the Nutrition class is well timed for me. It will cause me to re-evaluate what I’m eating. It will also cause me to look at the combination of my diet and exercise and figure out in greater detail what I need to be eating and how much. Sometimes I think a Body Bugg would be a fun tool!

I’ve been having vertigo to varying levels for the last two weeks now. The doctor did some initial blood work and the only thing that came back abnormal was my creatine level which could be an indicator that I’m still losing muscle or heaven forbid that I’m not eating enough protein. That would not be the cause of the dizziness though. I have another appointment with a physical therapist who is giving my some exercises that amount to compensation skills---like dancing hasn’t taught me how to not get dizzy, and an appointment with an ENT later this week. Most days I’m functional but I have to admit it is getting old fast. The Catholic calisthenics make it interesting at work! :-)

Okay, I’ve stalled writing my paper long enough! Yes, I know it’s Easter but Easter is six weeks long and we’ll be celebrating more next weekend when we have some more people home!

A blessed Easter Season to each of you and to your family!

What I haven’t been saying…

2011-03-04T15:26:00.000-06:00

I’ve had a bit of news that I’ve been itching to tell, but didn’t feel I could until some details were ironed out…

As of next week, I will be joining the staff at Immaculate Conception Parish in Cedar Rapids where our family has been attending for about a year and a half! I’m not quite sure what my title will be, but it will have to do with pastoral care. It sounds like my job description will be slightly more diverse than even my original one back at Our Lady of Grace, but I am looking forward to the challenge.

About a month ago, Father and I were meeting and he said to me rather casually that he was telling someone that I’d be really good at working with youth but then we quickly moved on to another topic. (I wondered if he might be crazy!) After having a little time to ponder that statement, I finally scheduled another meeting with him a few weeks later where he said to me, well, I’d really like to have you on staff here. (This time I was shocked!) I’m a difficult person to surprise (please don’t take that as a personal challenge because I am getting older!) but he really caught me off guard both times!

I will be the first to say that I wasn’t looking for a job, but as the words came out of his mouth, I could feel my heart bursting! I have really missed working at a church, but when I stopped at Our Lady of Loreto, it was clear that the girls really needed me at home and so my choice was simple---I’m a wife and mother first. Now though, Christina is done with college, Catherine has virtually finished high school with only has one paper left to write in order to graduate. During the day, that really only leaves me Charlene at home, plus my own school work and my job and hours will still allow me to meet both of those needs. I know I will be busier than I have been in awhile, but I’m looking forward to being able to do that and recognizing that my health is so much better I can actually keep that pace. I thought God helped me lose my weight so I could help others do the same, but perhaps he wanted to give me energy to keep up with lots of kids!

Thus far, my duties will include funeral and wedding coordination, beginning youth groups for junior high and high school, maintaining contact with some of our elderly parishioners and seeing how we can meet their needs, Confirmation stuff down the road and whatever else Father needs me to do to lighten his load and those of the other staff members. There have been lots of other possible responsibilities, but we will start there for now. I’m pretty sure it will utilize any organization skills I might have as well as really challenge me with patience and pastoral care.

While I was pondering Father’s statement that I would be good working with youth, I went on a retreat for Youth Ministers with the Brothers of St. John. They have such a vibrant outreach to young people and I was just convinced that they would tell me their secrets---or at least I wanted to believe that. True to their form as contemplatives, they told me I needed to be a young contemplative to minister to youth! It certainly wasn’t the nuts and bolts or the how to that I was looking for, but I know it was what I needed to hear.

At first, I looked around the room and realized I was old enough to be the mother of everyone in the room except maybe the priest that was giving the talk---though I could have started really young and I had just slipped and fell on the ice that morning which resulted in a nice bruise on my hip. I wasn’t feeling at all young! I know he wasn’t speaking of chronological age, but rather celebrating the way our faith constantly gives new life, but it made for an interesting start to the weekend.

On the retreat, we reflected quite a bit on the root the word “author” and other words that share a common derivation like authentic and authority. I will admit that the scariest part of it all will be creating the youth groups. I’m not totally afraid of the kids, though maybe just a little, but young people are pretty intuitive. They know when you are authentic and live what you are saying. Quite frankly they also deserve to have people that will share their faith with them—not in some boring way that makes it feel like going to just another class, but in a way that is real and true that will inspire them . In the same way, authority isn’t something that can simply be demanded, rather, it must be earned. Young people deserve that and I am just praying that I can find a way to facilitate it all coming together.

Oh, and I would be remiss to not add that Christina’s boyfriend, Dan, was on the Youth Minister retreat so it gave me a nice opportunity to get to know him. I sent her a text message while I was there on Saturday that said “Dan and I went for a walk this afternoon. I still like him!”

I am planning to continue working on my degree—though I may go part-time depending on how my routines settle. I am still working on losing weight, but right now, I have a trainer abusing me (in the best way possible) so that I regain some muscle which means my weight is pretty stable right now. Dana is still working at Rockwell and progressing on his Master’s degree. Cat is enjoying her work at HyVee. Christina is gearing up for Iowa Dancesport Classic later this month. And yes, there are other things keeping us busy too! God is good though… He gives us what we need to do what we need to.

So, now you know what’s been going on! I can’t even remotely express how excited I am and how this is truly an answer to unvoiced prayers. God clearly knew my heart even when I had my eyes closed!

My little rant…

2011-02-01T20:02:00.000-06:00

I shared yesterday that I went for the BOD POD test which is the most accurate standard to measure body fat and it determined that I was 43.3% fat. Today, I went to my new gym for their new member assessment. As part of that assessment, they perform a caliper test to measure body fat. I knew as the guy was taking my measurements that he definitely wasn’t measuring the places that I have significant extra body fat. It was even fun to have him try to get a hold of anything to measure near my scapula. Net result for the caliper test, 24%, which by yesterdays scale for percentages would put me in the moderately lean category! Yeah, right!

When I was in high school and dancing for hours every day, I had an unhealthy body image---even though my body fat was actually lower than 24%. Most of the people I went to school with would have even said I was fat. Indeed, that is how I viewed myself. Today, I have people who worry about my losing too much weight and being too thin. From my perspective, I have made progress, but I still have a long way to go. I definitely do not seem myself as thin and if you asked me to pick out a random person that wore the same size clothing that I do, I would fail miserably.

And we wonder why people are confused and have unhealthy body images!
If I had just walked into the gym, just as I am now, and not been down the path I have and known very clearly where I stand health-wise, I might have thought that 24% was good on some table but not known the truth that my real percent of body fat still puts me in many risk categories.

It is just plain confusing, IF we let the random set of standards set be the determining factor for our goal. I firmly believe that what we can and cannot do physically is a much better indicator for our health and weight than most other standards. That was the worst part of weighing 300 pounds; I couldn’t do what I wanted to---which led me to make all sorts of excuses for doing nothing. Today, I can do more. I’m ready for spring so that I can go outside and see just how much more. I feel good, but I would certainly expect that after having lost so much weight. Step One has been accomplished.

The one area, I feel a deficiency is my muscle strength. I’m not as strong as I used to be. I can’t lift the things I used to as easily and in some cases I can’t lift them at all. This is why I joined the gym. I need to build my muscle strength. I also know that building muscle will tone my body in some of those places that I’m less than pleased with and muscle burns more calories than fat. In theory more muscle would even mean that I could eat more, but I don’t think I’ll push my luck there. Step Two has now begun. I can’t forget what I learned in Step One, but now that it’s easier, it’s a great time to do more.

When I started to write this I was thinking about how frustrating it is that we don’t have an accurate standard for measuring body fat that is available to everyone and that I’m lucky to have had access to the most accurate method. I know some of this is related to self image and since I’ve had easily 20 years of being obese, my self-image isn’t going to change overnight. Writing this reminds me that it’s not just about fitting in the right box on some chart based on some measurements that may or may not be accurate. It’s about what I can do. I can do so many things I had pretty much given up hope on ever doing again---some of them I can even do well. That’s a better standard than a scale or a bunch of measurements. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop using the scale, but it kind of puts it in perspective.

BOD POD and Just moving

2011-01-31T16:37:00.000-06:00

I haven’t updated my blog for quite awhile and it’s not because I have fallen off the wagon—or even crushed it, I just have been swamped with my classes and really haven’t much time or inclination to write anything. I decided that I would share a couple of pieces or adaptations there of that I have written for purposes other than blogging.

I went for a body composition test today that is the new gold standard for accuracy. It’s much easier to do than the dunk tank and the results are generally the same. It’s called a BOD POD. Below is my simplistic analysis.

According to my initial test when I started IP in July, and weighed 285 and was 48% body fat. (I had already lost 16 pounds before I started IP.)
The last time I had the body fat test done with my consultant was 1/12/11, I weighed 217.6 by their scale and was 40.6% body fat with the electronic thing in the office.

Here’s the scoop on my BOD POD test which is said to be as accurate as you can get at +/- 2%…
Current weight 213.5 lbs
Lean weight 121 lbs
Fat weight: 92.4 lbs
Percent body fat 43.3%
On the report they gave me there are ranges for percent body fat for women. Assuming I have no change in muscle, that means I need to weigh less than 169 to be out of the “risky” category and into “excess fat”, less than 157 to be in the “moderately lean” category and under 147 would put me in the “lean” category/
I will admit that the 43.3% body fat what higher than I expected, but I’m moving in the right direction. For the people that keep cautioning me not to lose too much, I think I’m doing just fine in saying that I have more to lose. Right now, I need to lose another 57 pounds just to get into the moderately lean category.

All of the above numbers assume no muscle change; however, I am starting a weight training program this week and I do know from experience that I tend to gain muscle pretty quickly. The suggestion of the lady who did the testing is to repeat the test in 6-8 weeks after I’ve been doing my new routine for awhile so I can see where I stand and how quickly things are changing. I think that is good advice and I’m putting it on my calendar. 

My plan? Keep eating right and exercise! Pretty much my plan for life!

The second piece here is something I wrote for my Training and Condition class on a podcast from the CDC about physical activity.

I think it’s important to note that the podcast from the CDC is referring to physical activity versus exercise. Physical activity may not be a substitute for exercise, but for many people just moving needs to be the starting point. A person who has been sedentary for a long time would find it unthinkable to go to the gym and “exercise” but when the can learn to make little choices in their everyday lifestyle, cumulatively, they can make a difference.

Sedentary people have developed a lifestyle that revolves around convenience. They need the closest parking space and the TV remote and a cordless phone so they don’t have to get up. If they live with others they learn to ask others to do things for them and others will do so because they know it “hurts” them to get up and do it for themselves. It creates a vicious spiral of inactivity.

This is rather a passionate topic for me because I have been that sedentary person. A few years back, I joined a “Biggest Loser” program where I was going to the gym 6 days a week, doing a full weight and cardio workout and following it up with one mixed aerobic class and frequently a water aerobics class. It seemed like a great thing, but when I came home, I didn’t hardly move from my chair—unless maybe to get food. I was still using my handicapped parking tag because I was afraid of hurting my ankle as well as several more excuses for not moving. Ultimately, that time at the gym wasn’t benefiting me at all because it was just becoming an excuse to not move at other times. Once that program was completed and I went back to my regular dancing, I still wasn’t doing much other than dancing. It took a full days energy just to go dancing for 45 minutes at night. My life really didn’t change and since the program of intense exercise put my already stressed adrenal glands into fight mode, I lost virtually no weight.

This time, last March, when I started my weight loss journey, just over 300 pounds, I knew I had to do things differently and the difference was going to be in the little decisions along the way. I needed to make an effort to “do” more and it really didn’t matter what I actually did. I started with basics like getting up to get my own water rather than asking my daughter to get it for me, making that extra trip upstairs because I forgot to bring something down the first time or parking in a regular parking space rather than the handicapped one.

Coupled with healthier eating, these seemingly little decisions led to a better habit overall. As I lost a little weight, I discovered that my choices to just be more active led to things like playing Frisbee with the kids or riding a bike down to the park. Even 20 pounds into my weight loss when I ended up with a stress fracture in my heel, I was more active than I had been the year before and I really think it’s a habit that will last. Now that I have made lots of little changes and lost more weight, I find that I’m generally more active and I was ready to begin a regular workout routine.

Just last week, I got off my elliptical and I was feeling pretty tired. I knew I had done the hardest workout I had yet. My head said, I’m going to be tired all day, but I had my lunch, took a shower and then, I realized something strange… I felt good and I was ready to do more around the house and still go dancing that night.

Anyway, I’m sorry this is so long, but I’m guessing that most of you have never really struggled with being morbidly obese and so, I was hoping that you would remember when you deal with the clients are like I was, you would remember that sometimes they need to be ready to make the little decisions before they can make the big ones like committing to a big workout program because when they quit the big workout program, which they likely will, it can be just one more excuse for them not to move at all. It’s really all about little choices that lead to long-term habits.

So, that will have to suffice as my update for now. Hopefully I'll be able to find some more time to write in the not too distant future.

Blessings and prayers,
Marion

Focuses

2011-01-02T19:28:00.000-06:00

I’m not really big on making resolutions just because it’s January 1st. It seems to me that grants us license to forget them until another date when we fail on January 15th or even in July. I prefer to have priorities that I choose to focus on which will develop self-discipline which will lead to habits that last a lifetime. This way, when I fail, which I will, I just refocus and begin again without regard for a date on a calendar. It’s not a new concept but rather, I am applying the inverse application of basic principles of The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola—as I understand them.

I see the spiritual exercises as a blueprint to becoming the best person I can be by helping me look at continual sins so I can stop committing them. I suppose what is best is a subjective term, but for me, it’s becoming the woman God wants me to be. I’m not an expert on the Exercises, but it’s seems to me that similar principals can be used to add good habits to our lives as well.

In the exercises, the terms “Examins” and “Particular Examins” are used. Examins are just what they sound like, examination of conscious. They look at the big picture of sin in an individual’s life to enable them to make a good confession. Particular Examins are getting down to the nitty-gritty details of one’s sin. They look at the little things that cause us to sin so we can avoid the temptation.
The same philosophy works well in developing positive habits as well. I envision it like painting an entire room; the examins help you scrape the walls or general focuses let you know that the walls need to be painted, but the particular examins or particular focuses help us get the little areas around the windows, corners and trim. It takes both to prepare and paint a room well. If we don’t pay attention to the details then chances are we won’t have a good result. When we try to make changes in our life, it’s easy to make generalizations like ‘I want to be a better person’ but then, I need to look at what that means and what the specific steps are that I need to take to make that happen.

Personally, I think four general focuses are about all I can handle at one time. Some might argue four is too many, but I think one spiritual, one physical, one relationship and one temporal focus gives us direction in each important area of our lives. More than that probably means we aren’t doing anything really well. Each general focus necessitates different particular focuses as we work to develop our ultimate goal. General focuses are long term and particular focuses adapt and change as we grow.

Anyone who has been reading my blog for the last year would know that one of my general focuses has been getting healthy and the particular examin I have been working on is eating---and sometimes not eating. Having been working on that pretty intently since March, it is now a more comfortable habit. There are still are other particular areas I need to focus on in the area of health but it doesn’t feel as critical to the big picture. I don’t have eating healthy down perfectly and it will continue to be something I work on for the rest of my life, but as it becomes easier, I am transitioning my focus to exercise which times out well with the Training and Condition class that I begin tomorrow as part of my degree program.

Well, this post took a life of its own, completely different from what I thought I was going to write when I sat down, so I think I’m just going to stop here for now. Have a happy and holy 2011!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T12:26:00.000-06:00

We have so much to be thankful for this year and if you are reading this, we count you among our most precious blessings.

May God’s peace reign in your hearts, in your homes and in our world as we celebrate the birth of the One that can save us all!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Here is an edited version of our Christmas letter this year!

Moreland Family News

Travel by all or some of us:
Iowa State Square Dance Convention: Ottumwa, IA
Colorado State Square Dance Convention where Christina was a featured caller: Keystone, CO. Dancing at 12,000 feet! What a way to suck wind!
Charlene got an extended stay in Colorado at met us in Louisville.
Roundalab and National Square Dance Convention: Louisville, KY
Catherine headed for her Eagle Eye Week right after we got home.
Visit Brice: Traverse City, MI. This was supposed to be so Dana could see his place but he wasn’t able to join us because of work.
Neu Family Reunion: Corinth, KY. We spent some time with Dana’s family and extended family. It was a quick trip to but good to see everyone that was there.
Trinidad, CO: Marion’s dad was to have surgery but it ended up being postponed so we had a nice visit anyway.

Education Information:
Dana: Finished B.S. in Applied Science and Technology; Begins Master’s program in January 2011.
Marion: Sophomore working on B.S. in Sports and Health Science.
Christina: Graduated Associates Degree in Liberal Arts!
Catherine: Senior year of high school at home; will begin an esthetics program in June after graduating in May.
Charlene: Seventh grade; doing awesome!

Other significant or insignificant news:
Marion’s parents made a late spring trip to Iowa.
August brought quite a gathering at our home for Anime Iowa as Brice, Rocky and Jennifer came to join the girls for the insanity!
Christina continues to love her work at the studio and compete with her students. She also sneaks in quiet time at the monastery when her schedule will allow. The big 21 strikes her in January!
Catherine competed in ballroom at the Iowa Dancesport Classic with an amateur partner and placed first in all the events except for one which they received a second place award. She continues to love drawing, anime and sewing/craft projects.
Charlene was in her first play with our homeschool group and was an outstanding “Baker’s wife”! She shares her sisters interests in anime can’t wait to go to her first anime convention.
Dana continues to work as a contractor at Rockwell though he has changed projects along the way. He wishes he could spend more time on his bike or on the dance floor.
Marion has made a commitment to improved health and has lost about 80 pounds. She blogs about this and other things that strike her fancy at www.praymom.blogspot.com as well as sharing some photos or videos.

Tavi has a shoe fetish and can’t wait for dancers to remove them so he can plunge his head in and breathe deep!
Amara likes heights including the window in the vaulted area of our living room.
Bella either demands your attention or wants nothing to do with you. Isn’t that a cat?

Changes

2010-12-07T11:44:00.002-06:00

I finally feel like I’m at a place with the changes in my diet that I’m comfortable writing and explaining the changes I’m making in my diet, so here is my attempt at that.

I wouldn’t say I was bored with Ideal Protein but after being on it for over 20 weeks, I knew I needed to begin making some actual choices in the foods I eat rather than just sticking with a safe protocol. I discussed this with my coach and she agreed. For now, the plan is to weigh in every other week and see where I’m at in January so I can make a decision about whether I want to continue on my own or go back to the regiment for awhile and see if I can take off the rest of the weight I have to lose.

A huge appeal for IP was, aside from being a very effective way to lose weight; it afforded me an opportunity for some behavior modification which I actually think is more important than many other components. In truth, I’ve known for quite some time HOW I should eat, the challenge was making the actual changes for more than a day or even a week. It was what I would actually DO that would cause me trouble. Just because we know what the right choice is doesn’t always mean we make it.

I have written before, some of the modification is letting go of sinful behaviors that led me to seek consolation in food rather than in the One I profess to believe in. I can only say in humble faith that God has changed my heart and should it ever change again, it will not be that He has stopped working but that I have stopped following. I pray that any of you that have been with me on this journey and continue to be in my life will remind me of this fact if I stumble. I have also learned that as soon as you slay one demon you learn you have so many more yet to conquer.

My food choices while on Ideal Protein had been reduced to very minimal items and I was seeing some of the adverse effects of living in ketosis, I knew I needed to increase my food selections and gently bring myself out of ketosis. I should mention that IP has a protocol for doing this, but I was reluctant to do so because it reintroduces grains and I’m not willing to do that right now—at least in any significant quantity.

The first key for me is protein, second I know I really need to limit grains and gluten and third it also seems important to keep the glycemic index of the foods I eat reduced. Initially, I thought as I transitioned off of IP, if I just stayed within those guidelines I would be great, but when you switch from a very rigid routine to what feels like complete freedom, it can also be very overwhelming. Imagine doing a six month silent retreat and the next day finding yourself on a tour of Tokyo with twenty Chatty Cathy’s in your group!

Thankfully, I have a husband who will talk things through with me and continually be the voice of reason when I’m feeling a little irrational. It was interesting for me though because my response was not to eat everything in sight, rather it was to eat very little and be extremely careful. My fear was definitely greater than it needed to be because I seem to have made a mental shift where I’d rather just fall back to what I know from IP rather than go over the deep end. None the less, I know that Dana listened to me repeat the same thing over and over as we talked me into being okay with making changes. In the way that only he can, he reassured me and helped keep me straight. I am very thankful.

It turns out it took me over two weeks of “making changes” before I even got myself out of ketosis—something that happens for many people in a single meal! It was almost funny because I was wondering if and when and how far I’d have to go to get it to actually happen. This told me something important though… I’m probably not as carbohydrate sensitive as some people are. I still don’t plan on ordering the pasta! I am continuing to lose some weight though a little slower than before and I’m truly okay with that. Perhaps it will give my skin an opportunity to shrink with the rest of me.

Much of the last few weeks have been little trials. I try a food and see how it makes me feel. I also watch the scale and see what it does. Some foods make me feel good and others, not so much. I also have been trying hard to make sure that my protein quantity is adequate because that seemed to be key while doing IP and since I know I need a decent amount protein to maintain my muscles. I am still using some of the Ideal Protein packets because they are convenient and I’m not sure if I will ever stop doing that because they have some items that work very well for me.

There was also a little realization going on for me. I realized that I don’t want to be skinny---not that I think that is ever possible, but I’d rather just be fit and toned. To that extent, I scheduled an appointment with Sue Bell from Balanced Physical Therapy. Sue is also a student at Dance New York which gives her great perspective to help me. I wanted to work on strengthening my ankle and my overall stability and core. She gently worked me over and gave me a plan. I was really excited about it, but the next morning I woke up with a cold and I haven’t done much with it, but I’m looking forward to making it part of my regular fitness routine.

This little cold I have had has even been a reminder for me to do what I know is right and important because in my excitement, consternation and stress about making changes to my diet, I got sloppy about taking my supplements and I’m paying a price for it. All of this goes to show me that even though I’ve made progress, I am not—nor will I ever be, finished. I am a work in progress. Sometimes I work more than others, and sometimes I progress more than others.

We're back!

2010-11-20T20:55:00.002-06:00

The trip to Colorado didn’t go quite as planned, but we had safe travels and time with friends and family so in that regard it was good. 2800 miles of driving in 10 days is just a bit too much for me.

What happened with the surgery? Well, the day after Dad had his pre-op visit where the doctor expressed concern about cuts; he got a cut on his leg while changing the tire on the car. I had healed partially, so I called the surgical center and explained the situation and the nurse told me it should be fine and to come on down. So, we headed for Albuquerque. About 150 miles from our destination, we got a call from the doctor who told us that he couldn’t do the surgery. It was just too much of a risk. I thanked him for saving us 300 miles of driving and we turned around and went out to dinner! It will take at least a few months to reschedule, so I suggest to Dad that he wait until I can come back out in April when the weather should be better.

Since we were already there, we hung out at Dad and Mom’s for a few days and then headed north. As good fortune would have it, our friend Hunter Keller was coming to Denver to call a dance Saturday night so we picked him up at the airport and joined him along with a few other friends at a great dance. Rollin Wheels had 18 squares! It was lots of fun!

As if that weren’t enough fun, we tagged along for another friend’s, Ian, birthday celebration at a roller skating rink. Yes, I went roller skating, though I was thankful for Ian’s arm that first time around! Yes, my ankles are still intact! Yes, I’d probably do it again!

Sunday morning we ventured back down to Our Lady of Loreto and got to say hi to Father Ed and some other friends. There are many things I miss about that parish and the topic of our visits there might be a subject for another blog if I can get to it. Sunday evening we celebrated lots of Pingel November birthdays. All of those Valentine babies!

Since I had already had enough driving, I decided to split our trip home into two days. We made it to Lincoln, NE Monday night and then the rest of the way home on Tuesday. It made it easier on the driving, but I was sure ready to be home!
This week has been about catching up and sorting things out here. One of my classes turned out to be very different from the description and I finally decided to cut my losses and drop the class. I feel better now that I’ve made the decision. I wish I had made it sooner and I hope I still feel that way in December and January when I need to add an extra class to my schedule.

I managed to stay on track with my diet while we were traveling and still lost 5 pounds in two weeks. I’m processing through some possible changes to my diet plan and trying to figure out what is best to do moving forward. I was going to write about them but as I started to do so I realize my head still isn’t clear about them, so I’m just going to wait a bit until it is clearer for me. Rest assured I’m not giving in or giving up!

Back to School and Leaving Town

2010-10-31T15:23:00.000-05:00

We’ve been to Halloween Dances the last couple of nights and so I’m looking forward to being home after church this evening.

Tomorrow I start classes again. I’ve enjoyed my week long break, but I don’t think like I could ever accomplish everything I wanted to. Oh well, it will still be there! The time around I’ll be starting a 16 week long chemistry class and the lab that goes with it and an 8 week class called American Popular Culture. I have no idea what that really is, but it looked like the social science requirement that was least likely to raise my blood pressure.

In addition to getting back to my classes, I will be packing for a trip to Colorado and New Mexico which I’ll explain in a bit and Cat and I will have a busy Wednesday with all sorts of fun things.

Last Tuesday turned out to be a pretty good day for Cat. It began with a not so exciting trip to the orthodontist. While she dreaded having bands tightened, she learned that her teeth are where they want them and all we had to do is schedule the appointment for the removal. Later that day, she had her first job interview. Yes, she got the job! She’s going to be working at the local grocery store called HyVee. She’ll be working in the Chinese food service area. It’s close to home and
I think it will be a good start.

Wednesday, will begin with an early morning orthodontist appointment to remove Cat’s braces and my weigh in. From there, we will head down to a cosmetology school in Iowa City that she is thinking of attending for an open house. I have a conference call on the way home and that night we have a rhythm dance class followed by the practice party. I’m glad I’ll have Thursday to rest---though I know as soon as I say that something will change that fact!

On Friday morning, Cat, Charlie and I are Colorado bound. We should get into the Pingel’s in the evening, have some time to hang out with them and Amanda before going dancing with Ben at 9 PM. Yes, that means we plan to go dancing at effectively 10 PM our time after 12 hours of driving and an over 5000 foot altitude gain. I should have learn by now, but not this time! Saturday, Cat and Charlie will get to spend the day/night with their friends while I enjoy my time with the Pingel’s. Sunday, I’ll collect them all and head further south to my mom and dad’s for the real purpose of my trip.

Dad is having knee replacement surgery on the 9th and because of some medical stuff that mom has been going through, it’s not going to work for her to go with him to the hospital which is 4 hours further south of them in Albuquerque. So, Cat and Charlie will stay with Mom at their house while I take Dad down for his surgery. Please keep us all in your prayers.

If everything goes smoothly, I’ll be bringing him home 4-5 days later. Dad hasn’t always cooperated with the things “going smoothly” but we are optimistic this will go well. Once we are home, my aunt is going to come stay with them for a bit to help as needed and I will head home. I don’t have a real concrete timeframe on that or if I will try to spend any time in Denver on the way out. I think it will depend on many factors including my classes and weather. I don’t have a hard deadline of when I need to be home though I don’t want to be gone too long.

Packing for this trip is a little different for me because I’m packing what I need to take to stay on my diet and keep up with my classes. It seemed like such a little thing to pack my astronaut food, but then I started realizing all of the other little things that I use to support all that stuff. Well the list is getting longer. For the most part, there’s nothing I can’t get there if I really need to, I’d just like to not have to. I figure the more prepared I am, the greater my chances of success.

I am a bit nervous because this will be the first time I miss a weigh in with my coach. It’s not that I can’t find a scale at the hospital, but it’s been quite a security blanket for me. I’m also looking at making some minor tweaks to what I’m doing and that means I won’t have my check in to rely on while doing them.
It’s amazing to me how comfortable I have become with my routine. I think it’s good to shake it up though and it has started me thinking about life after I reach my goal. Honestly, I’ve also be thinking about my goals and when I will know I have lost enough weight. It’s never been something I really thought I’d achieve, so there was a part of me that never really thought about what happens when I get there. In some ways, that’s the disadvantage to losing so quickly; your mind doesn’t always keep up with your body.

Anyway, I’m excited and nervous about making all the adjustments—and yes, some of that involves seeing people next weekend that have never seen me this size. While I know that my friends didn’t judge me based on my weight, it is something that affects who I am and how I see myself; therefore how I present myself. It’s going to be weird though! I keep praying that God will always help me remember that He is the one that helped me do this which means He will help me through any changes and adjustments.

I have no idea how much I’ll get to write here. At a minimum, I’ll post updates on Facebook, but we’ll see what happens beyond that.

Afternoon ramblings...

2010-10-21T17:35:00.001-05:00

So, here I sit, finally able to relax for a few days… It’s a weird feeling. My mind is all over the place right now, and I’m pretty sure that will be reflected in my writing, but perhaps it will make sense on some level.

I just finished my Sports Law final which was the last of my assignments for this cycle of classes. I begin my next set of classes on November 1^st with chemistry and a class called “American Popular Culture”. I’m not sure what it is other than it filled my last social science requirement and was less likely to infuriate me than the Human Sexuality class!

If you’ve been keeping up with my postings on Facebook you know that the weight continues to come off. Right now, I’m down 68 pounds which leaves about 47 to go to reach what I believe will be my goal. Somehow that doesn’t feel like as big of a number as it used to. One of the wise ladies on the 3fatchick website says, ‘I can’t lose 100 pounds, but I can lose 10 pounds, 10 times.’ 47 pounds doesn’t seem like very much compared to the 115 pound original goal.

I’ve been thinking about “eyes” lately—how we look at things, how we see others, how we see ourselves and how God sees us. Someplace in the back of my head, I hear the voice of Thomas Smith, my 1^st year Biblical college instructor, talking about the ‘Father eyes’ and if I think to hard it mixes with the song by the same title as sung by Amy Grant. Yeah, I know, it’s a little weird but I think there’s a lesson in it.

When I began writing this blog, I chose the name “In My Daughter’s Eyes” because I had this profound awareness of how everything I do and say is viewed through the eyes of my daughters. And it scared me! There’s a country song out now about a little guy that’s imitating his daddy in his colorful language and the father asks ‘where’d you learn to talk like that?’ to which the little guy replies, ‘I’ve been watching you…’ Perhaps this was in some part why I felt I needed to make some changes… my daughters are watching and I don’t want them to struggle with the things I have struggled with most of my life.

As I’ve continued on this journey, I’ve become acutely aware that other people are watching too. For a variety of reason, I felt compelled to take this particular journey of weight loss in a public way. At first, I thought it would help hold me accountable—which it has. But lately, I’ve come to understand that I’m not doing this journey just for me. There’s a bigger picture which I am only beginning to glimpse a corner of.

Hum, this is going in a different direction than I thought it would when I started…

Maybe I should go back and explain what got me thinking about this topic most recently. I have been having a difficult time seeing my body as it is now. I know it’s not where it needs to be and I do know I have lost a lot of weight and I am smaller than I was, but mentally, I just don’t grasp the difference. I still see myself wearing those size 24 pants and them just being a little loose rather than being the size 18’s I’m wearing now. I have a hard time looking at another woman with similar body composition and seeing that we are the same size, or in some cases that I’m smaller than she is.

I don’t really think this is due to some unhealthy body image, but rather just the results of some very quick changes. Perhaps I understand now how someone feels after having gone through a weight loss surgery. I expect that it will come into focus better as time goes on though I do find myself at a weird stage. I’m about as low in weight and small in size as I have been since before Christina. (This does exclude the time right before I got pregnant with Charlene when I had lost about 50 pounds and then, proceeded to put it and more back on after I gave birth.)

What this means for me is that I have no idea what I will look like when I reach my goal weight. Quite frankly, the dress I wore for the Autumn showcase and the way it fit was as far as my vision could take me. The only other goal I could have is to fit back into my wedding dress, but I don’t know if that will ever happen because having 3 children changes your bodies in ways that don’t always change back afterwards, but we’ll see. I’ve even had a couple of really sweet people giving me caution about not losing too much weight! Now, I know that I still need to lose weight and I believe that the goal I have set will be a reasonable percentage of body fat, but what will that mean for my body? That’s a good question! I guess we’ll find out in about March!

All of this trying to envision what I will look like at my goal as well as how some things will work out in the future along with some close friends that are going through some major decision making times in their lives has got me thinking about how God sees us and even to a greater extent, how He sees beyond our vision.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend about how it was kind of nice to feel like I was getting back into doing things. I’ve got involved in some projects at church and I’m feeling a bit more like the Marion that most of my friends in California or even Colorado would know. But I said that I felt like I had enough on my plate and I shouldn’t make any further commitments. Well, of course, God with his vision was laughing because it would only take a matter of hours before it was clear that I would have more on my plate.

I can’t see myself wearing size 16 pants because I haven’t worn them since high school and it is just out of my ability to process right now but I couldn’t see living us living in Japan—or Iowa! In the summer of 2009 when Dana was unemployed, I couldn’t see how drastically my life would change in a little over a year. Some days, I can’t see how I’m going to accomplish everything I think I need to do or how one challenging situation or another will resolve. But, The Father sees it all! He knows how it is all going to work out.

So what’s our job in all of this? I think it’s to live in the present moment and ‘don’t be afraid’. Did you know that’s the most common phrase in the Bible? And yet, how many of us are worrying or fearful about something that may or may not even happen? Moment by moment we can only choose to make the choices and take the actions to do what we know needs to be done at that moment.

To tie this back into my weight loss journey, I can’t see what I’m going to look like when I get to my goal weight anymore than I can see exactly what our lives will look like in a year or two or five. Ultimately, does it matter? I can simply set goals or have pillars of where I think I need to be heading and then respond in humility as God laughs because he has the map and I just tried looking at it without my glasses and more importantly without His eyes.

My Commercial

2010-10-07T13:15:00.000-05:00

Before (June 2010) Halfway (October 2010)
I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating, I did not intend to be a walking commercial for any diet plan. I recognize now, by all the people that have seen my results that is indeed what I have become a commercial. Also, please remember, I am only half way to what I believe will be my goal weight. I have about 55 pounds more I want to lose. My goal is to be there shortly after the first of the year, but certainly by the Iowa Dancesport Classic when I want to sport a really nice dress! Because I know first-hand what a struggle it is to lose weight and how our society is dealing with a growing obesity epidemic, I am more than happy to share what I have been doing if it can help. Unlike most commercials, I don’t stand to gain anything financially from this. That is not to say that at some point in the future there might not be some way I would benefit from this, but for now, that is not why I am sharing this.

Since I am posting this in a public forum, I would ask that you not share it with anyone without my personal permission.

The nuts and bolts of my program…

First, I had to make a mental change that I was going to take control of my eating and not let it control me. This was the hardest step and I think it took about 30 years to happen, but most of it has occurred over the last year thanks to prayer, Scripture and reading a couple of great books by Matthew Kelly called The Rhythm of Life and Perfectly Yourself: Nine Lessons to Enduring Happiness”. I can’t recommend them strong enough and while saying they were life-changing sounds cliché those of you that know me, know I do not use that phrase likely. For those of you that don’t know me as well, the visual changes you are seeing are just the tip of the iceberg.

Second, I needed some tools...

Tool #1 was hormone testing and dealing with the affects of stress, bad nutrition and other medical factors. I have been taking appropriate supplements since early March when I began to lose weight. I won’t go into those details here, but if this is a component you think you might need to deal with then, send me an email and I’ll help as I can then.

Tool #2 was implementing the things I had learned or realized through the first step—and being consistent.

Tool #3 and what most of you want to hear about is called Ideal Protein. Ideal Protein is based on a book by a Dr. Tran that you can find here. Please don’t let the picture of him on the cover turn you away! LOL
Ideal Protein is a low carbohydrate, low fat, and moderate protein diet. Because of the way it works, this diet requires a commitment that isn’t always demanded in other diets. For whatever period of time or weight loss goal you want to achieve, you need to commit to the program because little cheats can cause large and expensive setbacks.

Ideal Protein is offered through various medical practitioners and it is even approved by the FDA. If you are local, I would be happy to point you to mine but if you are out of the area, you can get more information on the website I linked. There is on group that is set up to do it online called IP Togo, but I don’t know a lot of the details about it. The reason it is offered through medical practitioners is so that you can be monitored on a regular basis. I believe this is the “ideal” situation.

I paid a fee to begin the program which covers my weekly visits until I reach my goal. All I pay for each week is my food and supplements. Supplements are needed with this diet and they don’t add greatly to the cost.

My first meeting was a couple of hours long and went over lots of details of the program, my medical history as well as taking measurements and weighing. Each week I go for my weigh in and pick up the food I ordered the day before and any supplements I might need. I have an opportunity to discuss with my counselor anything that might be coming up that I need to deal with and to check my progress. That is why many of you will notice that my updates come Wednesday mornings. I have a regular commitment to that appointment because it is just easier to make it a priority. I have intentionally shared the bad with the good news of my weigh ins, but in the 13 weeks I have been using Ideal Protein, I have lost 45 pounds and that includes 2 weeks where I was stable or had a slight gain. That averages out to over 3 pounds a week. I have also dropped 3 pant sizes. In the three months prior to that, I had only managed to lose 15 pounds and believe me, I struggled to do it.

Here’s my unprofessional commentary about how this diet works and why it works. Ideal Protein is designed to give our bodies the protein we need to maintain muscle tissue and reduce the amount of carbohydrates and fat in our diet to force our body to burn the fat we’ve been storing. Many diets help us lose weight but as we lose that weight we also lose muscle tissue which is what helps us burn calories and so, they can be unproductive. The way we burn fat specifically is through a state called ketosis. This is why it’s critical not to cheat. When we cheat, it takes our body out of ketosis and then, we usually spend 3-4 days getting back into it. That’s 3-4 days with no weight loss and you are still spending the money for the food packets. It just seems like a waste. It is an unbalanced diet and you would not want to live this way indefinitely; however, for me, I didn’t want to live fat forever.

The program uses an engineered food or as my girls call it “astronaut food” because most of it comes in silver packets! Each person’s individual protocol might vary, but in my case, I use 3 of these packets a day. With one of them, I also include 2 cups of specific vegetables. For one meal, I eat 5-7 ounces of proteins, depending on the type, and 2 additional cups of those same vegetables. I can also eat lettuce as much as I want.

Not sounding so appealing? Well, it’s honestly not too bad. The variety of foods is enough such that most people can find things they enjoy. The foods range, from omelets, oatmeal, crepes, soups, puddings, gelatin, drinks and bars. The packets are basically your protein source. They give you the protein in a way that reduces the amount of fat you get with it. With the addition of spices—most of which are allowed and some Walden Farm sauces that have no protein, carbohydrates, sugars or calories, I feel pretty good about what I’m eating. Is it gourmet? No. Do I have a variety of foods? Yes. Is it effective? Yes. Am I hungry of feeling deprived? No.

What this means from a practical standpoint is that I eat different than everyone else in my family. When I go out, I need to plan ahead what I will eat. I have managed to travel and dine with friends at restaurants, attend social events and everything, but I have to do it differently. There are a couple of restaurants where I can plan to have my meat meal and stay on the plan and then, there are others where I need to need to only eat a salad. If you decide this is something you want to do, I’m happy to help you strategize on how to get through it. Oh, I should mention, there is no alcohol on this program.

Exercise is rather an interesting subject on this diet. The first 11 weeks I was on the diet, I was dealing with my stress fracture or in a boot cast which basically meant I was getting no exercise. That obviously did not affect my weight loss. I know there are special protocols for those that are exercising in serious way, but I can’t speak to the details of those. In general, when you are exercising you don’t want to get your heart rate so high that you body will try to burn muscle. Remember the goal is to burn fat not muscle.

I know I have written much more here than I probably needed to, but most of this has come up in my conversations with others about what I’m doing and so I’m trying to give as much information as I can. I am doing this in this format because then, I won’t feel like I miss saying something I think is important because I get busy or distracted when I try to respond to you.

Just a couple more thoughts that I want to wrap this up with. Ideal Protein is working for me because I am committed following it very strictly and making changes in my life that will last a lifetime. If my commitment slips, or I waiver in my willingness to make those changes then I expect that my results would also slip and waiver. Being on such an ‘unbalanced’ diet gives me an opportunity to break bad habits. By the time I get back to eating ‘normally’ the habits that have plagued me from the past will be a distant memory. This was a key factor in choosing this program. I don’t feel like I am struggling with this diet. I have accepted that I need to eat differently to be healthy and that’s just the way it is.

In my crazy decision to do this in such a public way, I have been given so much support. I had hoped for accountability and got so much more. I have also found a great deal of wisdom and encouragement on a message board called 3 Fat Chicks where they have a very active discussion on Ideal Protein. It’s important to have support that understand what the obstacles are for any diet you do, so whether it’s traveling or the holidays, or just a place to share those before and after photos, I highly recommend checking them out.

Finally, if you are considering doing this, I would suggest you look at your calendar. We are approaching the holidays which could be rather difficult on this program. I’ve been doing it since July and I plan to stay on it through the holidays, but I know for many of you it is unthinkable to not have Christmas dinner with all the goodies. Unless you have a loss goal that can be achieved in a couple of months, I might consider waiting until after the holidays to begin. Spend the time reading, praying and preparing emotionally for what can really make a difference in your life. Don’t wait forever though because there’s always going to be a major event or an excuse.

There is so much more I could say, but I’ve already said enough to scare some of you off, I’m sure. I’m okay with that because I know this isn’t for everyone. We are all overweight for a variety of reasons and we have to be willing to face those reasons and commit them to the past before any program will truly work for us. Ideal Protein has just been the right too for me at the right point in my life. Whatever you decide to do, know that I’m here for you to help in whatever way I can.

Blessings and prayers,
Marion

Brief update

2010-09-22T10:50:00.001-05:00

I've officially been using the Ideal Protein weight loss program for 12 weeks now. And while I recognize that it is only a tool to help me change habits and learn healthy eating habits, I do think it is a good tool so I thought I'd share my latest statistics.

Twelve week weight loss: 41.4 pounds (I had lost another 16 pounds before I began)
Total inches loss: 26.25 inches
Overall body fat has dropped 3.7% and my BMI has dropped 6.4 points.

Now that I'm out of that silly boot cast, I can get back on my elliptical again and it's good to be back to doing a little dancing!

Cleaning the closet

2010-09-16T12:58:00.000-05:00

I cleaned out my closet today. I had actually started with Dana a couple of weeks ago but today, the girls helped me finish the deal. I had held off on getting rid of some things because I didn't have anything that fit me any better. I now have a huge garbage bag of clothes that we need to take to Goodwill.

I finally gave in and purchased a pair of jeans, a pair of dress slacks and some t-shirts that fit me. It was pretty exciting to buy clothes that were three sizes smaller than what was in my closet. I kept trying to tell the sales assistance I thought I'd need something bigger and she kept telling me she didn't think so. She was right, I was wrong! I was never so happy to be wrong! Add the new clothes to the new hair do that my favorite stylist Beverly did and I was feeling good!

I also realized this morning that I am 3 pounds short of being half-way to what I think my weight goal will be. Yeah, yeah, that sounds a little confusing, but I have calculated what I believe my goal weight is based on where I want my BMI and percent body fat to be and there are things that can change along the way that will make that number vary--but I think it's a good target. To date, I have lost 55 pounds since the beginning of March. That's not to bad for 6 months work!

The weather has begun to cool down a little here. They are doing those things to the lawn that people do in late summer/early fall. I'm reminded that we need to finish up a few chores before it gets too cool around here.

Oh and in case I didn't mention it, I have transitioned out of my boot cast. I'm not excited to be pounding concrete anytime soon, but it is nice to be back to dancing.

I guess that's it, I just wanted to share a little good news!

My weight loss journey

2010-09-01T16:20:00.001-05:00

I knew there would come a time when I would want to write this but it comes with some trepidation. It’s not a fear of sharing my personal story, but rather that this journey that God has led me on will somehow change if I share it. I am reminded that we are not supposed to be attached to things of this world, and my story of transformation is just one of those things that I offer it for what it is worth.

I shared back in March how God was working in my life and I had decided to embark on a new major and get my B.S. in Sports and Health Science that was about as far from the accounting or church jobs I had pursued, as anyone can get. I started to try to put into place some of the many things I have learned over the years and I made some progress. I lost about 15 or so pounds in a couple of months but it didn’t take long for me to feel stagnated and frustrated. I didn’t give up totally, but I didn’t give in totally either. It certainly wasn’t the results I hoped to see.

During this time though, God was transforming my heart. Every time I talked to people about losing weight, they always said something to the effect that they needed to something so they could lose weight and then, followed it up with excuses why they weren’t. I don’t mean to say that in an uncharitable way, but it stood out for me because I was one of those people. I had kept making excuses and although I was “trying” I wasn’t giving it my all. God was showing me where I needed to change my heart, more precisely, where I needed to let Him change it.

National’s rolled around to find me with an injured foot and feeling somewhat disheartened because this was going to severely limit my ability to exercise which in my mind meant I wasn’t going to lose weight. Walks were out and that elliptical in my dining room… well, yeah, it has not been used much. Even dancing was taken from me. I was worried, but I also knew God had been doing something in my life because at a minimum, my habits were significantly better than they were a year ago.

I went in for a chiropractic adjustment and there was this little brochure on the counter. It said, “The Last Diet You’ll Ever Do”! My initial thought was that it was crazy and just another fad that I could fail at too, but I really respect this doctor, and so, we chatted about it briefly. He told me the bones of it but said in order to begin I would need to have an initial consultation and evaluation. I told him I wanted to think about it, but I was really thinking that there was no way I would do it and I figured Dana would be my voice of reason and say I shouldn’t do it.

I was wrong! Dana said I might as well try it and on July 7^th, I began. During my initial appointment I found myself answering the questions about my weight and previous diet history with a candor that surprised even me. One of the questions was “Why did your last diet not work?” My honest answer had to be “because I didn’t follow it”. That was a pretty big “ah ha” moment for me, but it was also a moment of truth and self-knowledge. There was another moment in that appointment that stood out for me. Kerry, my healthcare assistant, said to me something to the effect that ‘you can’t cheat on this diet because it will mess up all the work you’ve done and you’ll take several days to just get back to where you were burning fat’ or at least that is what I heard. It is particularly true of this diet, but it’s really true of any diet. Cheating causes delays to success and can also lead to habits that will cause failure. I have taken those words very seriously and I have not knowingly cheated since I began.

God has been so good and gentle on my heart. Beginning to really lose weight was more than just going on a diet; I needed to be brutally honest with God, myself and those around me. I have been living with the sin of gluttony for so many years, I was numb to it. I had made excuse after excuse and failed more times that I can count. In order for this to work, I needed to lay it all out there in humility and realize that I am weak and I can’t do this alone. This is something I will likely struggle with the rest of my life, but I do not need to give into it. If my faith is as I profess, “I can accomplish all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. This diet, this new way of life is not so much about the food I’m eating—though I think it is very helpful for reasons I’ll discuss later, but rather, it’s about changes on the inside. Somehow I came to see that I couldn’t do this and I needed God and those around me to help me do it. The things that I was attached to that were bad for me, I no longer desire. He means more and has given me so many blessings beyond those that I can overeat. Food isn’t bad, but what I am capable of doing with it can be bad.

For someone that has struggled with weight as I have, I think it’s imperative to find another way to be filled and satisfied. One of those moments for me was when I came out of the hair salon a few weeks ago… Dana was picking me up and he got out of the car and just stared at me… it was much like that look he gave me when I stepped out onto the aisle on our wedding day. Those are the moments that fill my heart, where I was trying to stuff a bag of chips in it before. Or thinking I’m going to wear a pair of dress pants only to have them fall off when I inhale!

I have two quotes from Matthew Kelly on my computer monitor. The first one is “Our lives change when our habits change” and the second is “Will the choices you make now help you become a better version of yourself?” For me, the first reminds me that I need to develop good habits and that is in part why I believe I have had such success at this diet and believe I will have continued success throughout my life. My habits are changing every day that I choose not to cheat myself by eating the wrong food. The second reminds me that I am the one that makes the choices in my life. God gives me free will and I need to own up and take responsibility for who I am today and who I want to be tomorrow. We can blame our past or live in our future. “Our lives change when our habits change” and “will the choices I make today help me become a better version of myself?” Many times a day I see those quotes and I know how God is helping me to change. It’s not in some demanding way, He has been faithful—even when I have not, but it’s in little ways and little choices.

So, what specifically am I using? I’m using a product called Ideal Protein that had been around for many years though longer in Europe than here. The girls say I am eating astronaut food because much of it comes in little silver packets, but despite being laid up for 10 weeks now with a bad foot and completely overwhelmed with school the last eight weeks, I feel better than I have in at least 10 years. I feel optimistic about the future and I can see myself continuing to eat healthy for the rest of my life. I have never felt that before. Some might say this is an extreme or unbalanced diet, and I would respond that being overweight is extreme, unbalanced and deadly. At least I can see this diet coming to an end. If I don’t lose weight, I come to an end I don’t like. I am monitored weekly and I know my body. I’m looking forward to getting back to dancing and getting some gentle cardio exercise as I can, but right now, I’m just appreciating the weight coming off and saving for the new clothes I am going to need to buy!

Since July 7^th, I have lost almost 34 pounds and 22” in the 5 areas they measure. My percent body fat has dropped 3.2% and my BMI is down 5.2. I’ve got a long ways to go, but I can see an end in sight for the first time in my adult life. I am looking forward to the cute dress I will get to purchase in March for our big ballroom event! And I can’t wait to post before and after pictures. (I hope to avoid pictures in the middle though because it makes for greater affect.)

I want to share one other thing that God has really placed on my heart in this area. If you have a friend who you know is trying to lose weight, be a friend and support them in their efforts. Don’t be the person that says to them that it’s okay to cheat this once. For a person who struggles with obesity, that is like telling your best friend it is okay to cheat on their husband. It’s not okay to cheat! It tears them down and helps them develop self-destroying habits. Rather, be the person in their life that says, you are right, you don’t want to eat that and I won’t either. Let’s go for a walk instead. Your relationship will grow beyond your belief because you will be showing them true love.

I am very thankful for the true friends I have in my life. God has blessed me so richly in this area!

July and August in a Nutshell

2010-08-31T14:20:00.000-05:00

Some days you just see God moving in your life and then, it makes you wonder what He’s up to… I’ve had a couple of those days lately with unexpected, yet wonderful, contacts and I’m kind of trying to sort it out—but not too hard! 

Sunday concluded my most recent craziness with school and most of the reason why I haven’t posted here in two months. For eight weeks, I was effectively a double time student, which I might add, is not a good thing to do! I have, by the grace of God and a very understanding family, survived. My first Anatomy and Physiology class along with the lab is finished. I can, with a little reference tell you how you go from thinking you are thirsty to actually drinking and then eliminating the water and the various systems, bones, muscles and stuff involved along the way. (Yes, stuff is a highly technical term!) I have been bored by a bad history teacher and now, I am left to immerse myself in the writings of early American’s until next week when I begin Sports Law.

Since this was a quiet week for me, it was a great time to start back to school with the girls. It may only be Tuesday, but so far, so good! Catherine is beginning her senior year and Charlene is doing a modified seventh grade. I have no idea when they got to be so old.

What have I missed sharing while in immersed in school for eight weeks?

I came back from the National Square Dance Convention in Louisville, KY with a stress fracture in my right heel. It went untreated for 6 weeks in a story I’d rather not get into in this forum. After 4 weeks in a boot cast, I see the doctor tomorrow. I’m not optimistic that I will lose my fancy shoe because it still hurts to apply pressure, but we’ll see.

Catherine went to her Eagle Eye retreat and had an awesome time.
We were all supposed to go to see Brice in Michigan, but Dana’s work got so busy he wasn’t able to join us. The girls and I have a nice time though. Left Cat in Michigan.

Brice brought Cat home in time for Anime Iowa. If you don’t know what anime is, then, welcome to my world. I just know people dress weird and are frantic the week before while they try to complete last minute costumes that they could have known they wanted done a year before.

A friend we had met online came out with her mom and friend to join them for this event. It was really nice to get to meet them in person.
Ben also came for AI and then, spent the next week with us. With my foot still being untreated, we didn’t do much that week other than hang out, but it was nice to have the company.

There was a Dance New York picnic which was a welcomed respite.

The second week of August we headed back to Kentucky for a New Family Reunion. Yes, I know, the second time to Kentucky in 8 weeks… no comment. We spent a little time around Indiana working on some genealogy stuff on our way there. And Dana had to stop for the following scene...

We got to spend time with Dana’s mom, his brother Bret, his sister Ginger, Uncle George, cousin Fay and nephew Taylor. There were lots of other people there, 104 to be exact, but who they were mostly only fits together on the family tree that I updated the week before we left. I still can't believe the girls with the camera didn't get a picture of Dana's mom!

Dana and I are beginning to work on our duties as C-Chairs for Round Dance Programming for the 2011 Iowa State Square Dance Convention.
The last two weeks were spent with me busily trying to write research papers, finish applications and pass finals. I’ll leave all of that at saying I write papers better than I take multiple guess finals.

Oh, and somewhere amidst that crazy stressful 8 weeks I managed to lose almost 30 pounds, but I’ll write more about that at another time.

And so now, I can breathe a sigh of relief! Life should get calmer, but I’ve learned not to set my expectations too high in this regard.

My crazy kids...

2010-08-02T21:31:00.000-05:00

Are you really free?

2010-07-23T11:12:00.000-05:00

So, I should be working on a history assignment, but I’ve really wanted to just sit and write for me, rather than an instructor. Right now, my class load is almost double full-time so there isn’t much time for anything else. The end of August, when I will be back down to just full time, will be welcomed!

I’m still reading some of the Matthew Kelly books I got a while back, when I have a moment, and the last chapter I read was particularly interesting to me. I feel like a puzzle is getting put together in my life. I can’t really take credit for the ideas, but perhaps I have something to do with putting it together.

For those of us that live in the United States of America, we are generally thankful for our freedom. But are we really free? When the first thing we think of in the morning is a cup of coffee and we must have it, we become slaves to the coffee and our bodies. When I have to have the steak, but I know I should eat chicken, I am a slave to my body. Our bodies speak to us and tell us they want whatever is bad and we respond. If we respond with a bad choice, we are being slaves to our bodies. The same can be said of people that struggle with overspending, but since I have been writing about health issues I’m going to follow that course.

Over the years, I’ve written about this using a different term from the saints, “detachment”. In The Fire Within, Thomas Dubay takes the teachings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross and beautifully writes about letting go of the things that don’t bring us closer to God. Matthew Kelly takes a more simplistic approach. The goal of life is to be “the best version of ourselves”. How do we do that? We don’t do the things that don’t make us the “best version of ourselves”.

We all have things that hold us in slavery; the trick is how we remove the chains. First, we have to recognize what is holding us prisoner. Freedom takes sacrifice; just ask the men and women in Afghanistan or their families at home. Sacrifice takes discipline and so, the next step is the “D” word. I say it that way because the word discipline has become a dirty word in our language. Parents hardly discipline their children because they want to be they want to be their child’s friend rather than their parent. People feel they must respond to every sexual urge regardless of whether it is adultery or fornication because I’m an adult and I can. We eat until ourselves into obesity and then, blame the restaurants where we purchased the food. In each of those cases we have allowed ourselves to become slaves to something; whether it is peer pressure, sex, our bodies or convenience and until we take responsibility for ourselves and develop self-discipline we will not be free. Not to mention that we are deluding ourselves!

Discipline begins with me. How do I develop self-discipline? One act at a time! St. Terese of Liseux talked about the sacrifice beads her sister gave her and using them to be certain she was making enough sacrifices each day. Again, sacrifice takes discipline. To develop discipline and particularly self-discipline we need to understand the difference between I need and I want and be clear about what are our objectives. We also need to relearn a word we learned as a toddler, “No”! No, I will not eat that cheeseburger. I do not need it! No, I will not be a slave to a sexual desire. I love my spouse! No, I will not allow myself to purchase the 110^th pair of shoes—or even the 10th. I don’t need them. No, I cannot help with your group because my family needs me more.

Wanting something does not make it good and even too much of a good thing can be bad. If it does not make us the best version or ourselves and it won’t bring us closer to God then say “no”. It is that simple. Do you want to be free? As Matthew Kelly says, “Just do the next right thing”! As we make good decisions we develop good habits and our habits are who we really are.

Books: Fire Within by Thomas Dubay and Perfectly Yourself by Matthew Kelly

Roundalab Family Photo

2010-07-05T18:21:00.000-05:00

Louisville

2010-07-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

Our trip to Louisville began by heading to Independence, MO. I realize this isn't the most direct route; however, Christina had been invited to call a Trail Thru dance with Vernon Jones and Stan Brook and so, she jumped at the opportunity. It meant a bit of a detour on our way to the Nationals Square Dance Convention but it was well worth it.

Our vacation began with picking up the rental car. There was no way I could see us putting clothing and dance gear for five people for nine days in a Toyota Camry so we made arrangements to rent a minivan. When we got the the rental location they told us they had a Suburban if we preferred. I've never really felt like a minivan mom and so I jumped at the opportunity for the Suburban. Catherine and I got pelted by sand while we were leaving the airport and the wind brought torrential rain. It wasn't the way to get used to a different vehicle but it worked. All I can say is that it was a very hot car and I thoroughly enjoyed driving it!

We left early on Saturday, June 19th. We arrived in Independence shortly after lunch with only a little rain and hail along the way. Vernon was riding his motorcycle from Texas. He experienced more unpleasant effects from the rain. Our hosts the Davis's were awesome. We had great accommodations and they have even found a place for us to go to Mass before the dance so we could be on the road early. Christina had a chance to practice with Vernon and Stan which is a good thing because even with modern technologies it isn't easy to practice square dance calling via the internet. The Trail Thru dance was great. There were about 150 people there and we had a great time. The callers were good and the cuer wasn't bad either. Did I mention that Dana was cuing?

Sunday morning began our second Sunday in a row of driving. We left early for Louisville so we could make it to Roundalab which had technically begun Saturday night. The drive wasn't nearly as long as the one home from Colorado and the hot Suburban made the drive much nicer. We arrived in Louisville with what we thought was plenty time for Christina to help Mitchell with his presentation however we missed that there was a time change in Louisville so she was about 30 minutes late when we realized it. Mitchell did well anyway.

Roundalab was great. I didn't feel like we were on information overload as much as we did last time. There was lots of great dancing and the opportunity to connect with other cuers.

The Pingel's brought Charlene back to us Monday afternoon. I was sure happy to have her to hug!

Wednesday brought a hotel change and a bit of free time which we spent at the Louisville zoo with Justin Russell, Charles Davis and Hunter Keller. Just a word of advice... a trip to the zoo when it is his hot and humid beyond belief is not really a fun idea. We enjoyed the animals and the company but the humidity was ridiculous!

After settling into our hotel we headed to the convention center for a Trail End dance sponsored by Mountain Magic. Unfortunately most of Mountain Magi were unable to attend but Bear Miller saw to it that we had a great line up of callers. That line up included Christina calling with Vernon again. Yes, I was a proud momma!

Thursday was the official start of the convention. Wow, what a weekend! Dancing, dancing and more dancing! Sometimes it feels like we spend all our time running from one location to another but this time it was a little easier. We were at least able to stay in a single location for a few hours.

Christina and Mitchell demonstrated the round dance that he had choreographed to Kiss the Girl. The demonstration and the teach went really well. We got to dance some hex with some of our friends. It has been a long time since we had been able to dance hex and so it was a nice challenge for our brains. Christina did a great job calling. She called with Justin at one afterparty and even had the opportunity to MC another afterparty.

It was great to get to spend time with friends that we don't see often enough. We even went out after the dances and picked up a waitress that we brought to the dance. She starts lessons in the fall. Dana's sister and son came over Friday night so we even got to spend a little time with them.

There are two highlights that stand out in my memory. The first was the Saturday night afterparty in the plus hall when Justin, Hunter, Christina and another young caller, Noah Siegman called together. It was kind of scary to think that if you added all their ages together, there were probably people older in the room! On the other hand it was great to see that much young talent in one place!
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The second highlight was inspired by Bear Miller. Friday was Bear and Sandy's 33rd wedding anniversary. Bear was in Louisville and Sandy was still in Denver so Bear asked Christina to help him with a little anniversary wish. Bear called the patter and then brought Christina up to join him. He also invited Jet Roberts to the stage. Bear called Sandy and wished her a happy anniversary by the three of them doing the singing call “I Have to Say I Love You in a Song”. There weren't many dry eyes in the hall, that's for sure! Aside from the whole idea of Christina calling with Bear and Jet, it was so sweet!

Sunday morning rolled around and we were all pretty tired. For the third Sunday in a row, we would be driving. This time we slept in a bit, went to Mass and then, got on the road. It didn't turn out to be so bad because we made it by about 7 PM. Tired, but happy.

Having been back since Monday we are trying to get caught up on life. Cat leaves for her Eagle Eye Retreat on Saturday and so we've been trying to get through laundry, not to mention unpacking and repacking.

It also appears that I brought home another souvenir from National's. My foot was really hurting on by the second day of Nationals but I figured it was just normal; after all, we were dancing on concrete and I'm carrying too much weight. It's starting to look like it wasn't normal and that I may have acquired a stress fracture Wednesday night when I tried to dance in my regular dance shoes. Stress fractures don't always show up right away in x-rays but the signs and symptoms are all there. I'll be having an x-ray tomorrow which may or may not show the problem but whatever the case, it's sore and I need to stay off of it which means I won't be on my beast for awhile while it heals. My next set of classes begin Monday which should keep me suitably distracted.

Colorado State Square and Round Dance Convention 2010

2010-06-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

---Keystone, Colorado (9300 feet above sea level)

A long time ago, relatively speaking of course, Bear Miller invited Christina and a couple of other young callers, Justin Russell and Hunter Keller, to come to the Colorado State Square and Round Dance Convention this year and they all accepted. Christina booked her ticket last fall. A couple of months ago, we started talking about the rest of the family going out for the weekend.

We decided to drive out. After taking Christina to the airport Wednesday morning, we left Wednesday when Dana got off work and drove for several hours. We stayed in Nebraska and then, drove the rest of the way in on Thursday. We had arranged to hook up with friends from Colorado Rocky Mountain Dancers and between us all we had two three-bedroom condos.

Did I mention they were on the third floor and not adjacent to each other so you had to go downstairs and back up to get from one to the other? It doesn’t seem like a big deal until you remember the 9300 foot altitude and that 3 stories is like another 30+ feet! We spent a bit of a time catching our breath every time we went up the stairs!

Aside from the altitude thing though the condos really worked out great! We arrived before others and so, ours became the eating and socializing one. After I described our visiting and staying up late habits for the weekend to a friend, she jokingly asked me if I thought I was a college kid. I pointed out to her that I was, even if I was twice the age of the average one! I suppose that wasn’t what she meant.

Thursday evening began with a trail end dance. Fortunately, Christina wasn’t calling until the second to the last tip because she was delayed with her mountain travel mates and arrived 4 minutes before she was supposed to call. Technically, she was on time. It was a fun dance though. We even got to dance a little hexagon.
Friday morning was about shopping and chilling. Dancing began in the afternoon and other than a dinner break it continued into the evening. Saturday morning we were back to dancing and kept going until 11 PM when the afterparty began.

CRMD did three performances over the course of the weekend. It was really nice to see them again and I believe that their 1st performance was one of the best I’ve seen them do in a long time. Some new material has been added, some old faces have returned and the structure of the group has changed a bit to reflect that they are all young adults. I’m happy to see where they are going.

Christina did well with her calling. She knows she has some stuff to work on but she really stepped up to play with the big boys…. I was impressed with the growth and improvement I saw in Justin and I don’t think I ever gave a second glance to Hunter’s calling but let me just say that he made me take notice! It was great to watch all of them call with Mountain Magic even if it did mean that there were 8 callers calling patter the last tip of the night before we got to the singing call and some of us felt like we were about to drop from oxygen deprivation!

I can’t say enough about the Mountain Magic crew! They rocked the place and I as a parent, I am so touched by how they have taken these young’ns under their wings---even when they are sure they can soar on their own. You are all awesome!

I had a nice opportunity to visit with some friends and not enough time with others. I am hopeful that I will get some more time with those that I missed because they will be coming to Roundalab and/or National’s with us next week.

Yep, we leave again on Saturday! We are heading to Roundalab and National Square and Round Dance Convention in Louisville, KY via Independence, MO. Yes our GPS is a bit skewed but we knew it would happen. Christina is calling a trail through dance in Independence with Vernon Jones and Stan Brook that was arranged by the parents of another friend from National’s. It should be a good evening. If you happen to be in that area on June 19th, look us up!

Okay, well, there’s probably more I could say, but I think I had better get some things done, even if those things involve catching up on sleep.
It was so worth the lack of sleep and oxygen and I can’t wait for the next trip!

June 4, 2010

2010-06-04T19:04:00.000-05:00

I finished up my classes until July 5th so I can focus on all the things that I have been putting off while I was doing my classes. It was a pretty long list to say the least! I have ticked some items off but there is more to go.

The diet is coming along though it’s not doing much in the area of weight loss. I redid a thyroid test and we are making some adjustments there and we’ll see how things go now. I’m using my beast pretty regularly. I helps that it sits rather ominously in our living area taunting me! I don’t like that I stagnated in weight lost or that I have lost the same two pounds about six times, but I suppose these things work themselves out. I’m not giving up, somehow this change will happen.

We had an awesome weekend in Chicago, I had some major dental work started yesterday and we are getting ready to leave for Colorado only to leave Charlie there while we come home for 5 days before we leave for Louisville for National’s and get Charlie back. She will be gone 21 days. Once we come back from National's, Cat heads off for Eagle Eye and then, eventually we are all going to Michigan for a long weekend. To say the summer will be a busy is an understatement, but I can’t wait! August will also have another trip to Kentucky for a family reunion, so it will be a busy summer.

This was our first visit to Chicago. We spent most of our time at the Navy Pier including an IMAX show on the Hubble telescope and a ride on a tall-flag ship. We did make a detour to the Fry's in one of the suburbs and got in some dancing at a local studio one evening. The weather was beautiful until it was time to come home! Don't ask about the pictures!

I was going to write about another topic tonight, but as I started to do so I realized that I'm not quite ready to do it. I'm going to keep praying and working on it and see what happens.

Making Room for the Beast

2010-05-14T10:52:00.000-05:00

Mom and Dad just headed for home this morning. We did take them down to Kalona for the day on Monday and had lunch with Paul and Pat. Dad and Paul really hit it off and didn’t lack for things to talk about. Overall it was a nice visit though our weather wasn’t the most cooperative. I think there was only one day they were here that it didn’t rain. Ah, springtime in Iowa!

Let me say this…. ONE DOWN! Christina finished college this week with her Associates in Arts Degree. This was a major accomplishment for her and she did it. For now at least, her plans are to continue at the studio and further her dance career. I am very excited for her and proud that she followed through on her schoolwork.

Over the last week, I went with Catherine to look at some cosmetology schools. She has another year of high school, but we wanted to see some options. We have one more to see this week but there is at least a front runner in the three we have already seen. This third one is over in Des Moines so it will require more logistical considerations, but it also has more promise for career opportunities. Once we are finished there, we hope to meet with our favorite hair stylist and get her thoughts and feedback on what we’ve seen and learned. More to follow! For now, I am putting together a list of what she needs to do to complete high school. Where has the time gone?

I will be taking Charlene down to Princeville this afternoon and staying with her for her first retreat with the Brothers of St. John. She is so excited and I’m excited for her! For years now, her sisters have been experiencing the wisdom that simple monastery imparts and now, she gets to share in it.

Charlene is at such a beautiful age. She is making that transition from being a child to becoming a young lady and I can really see her doing so with careful consideration. Over the last year, she has made conscious decisions to make positive changes in her life and I think this little overnight trip will give her some fuel for some more positive actions. I am so proud of her.

We decided to invest in an elliptical machine to help me with my fitness journey. I am really excited for its arrival this afternoon though I won’t be here to welcome it home. It’s taking a little adjusting to fit this rather large piece of equipment in a place in the house where I will actually be able to use it as I hope to but I at least have a temporary home for it now.

Making room for my beast of labor has started me thinking about spring cleaning and decluttering again. It seems like I’ve done this so many times before but it really is a never ending process. I am hoping to spend a little time this weekend thinking about what I need to do so that when I finish my classes on the 23rd of this month I can make some progress. I don’t have any classes in June and although we will be doing quite a bit of traveling during that time, I know I can still get stuff done around here too.

As I think about decluttering, I can’t help but think of goal setting. It seems like a strange correlation though if I know what my goals are; it will be easier to get rid of what doesn’t help me achieve them. It may be time to do a little goal setting with the whole family.

Lots to think about and a several hours of driving to do so! Christina and Cat are doing some traveling this weekend too so Dana will be the anchor in our house while the rest of us come and go.

Pray for our safe travels and know that you are in my prayers.

April 29, 2010

2010-04-29T16:55:00.000-05:00

It has definitely been one of those weeks. I haven’t even had an opportunity to upload the pictures from Charlene’s play, but hopefully I can get to it tomorrow. My class work this week has been pretty heavy and I know I’m going out of town tomorrow and need to get it done before I leave so I have felt a little pressured. On top of it all, I’ve been fighting a cold this week. It’s not awful, just this lingering cough and a raspy voice. I’ve been trying hard not to let it get me down though. The results of all of this are erratic eating and minimal exercise. I haven’t weighed in for a couple of days. I may be brave tomorrow, but we shall see!

Amidst all of this business, Catherine has begun making appointments to look at several cosmetology schools in the area and I received news that my Mom and Dad are coming for a visit late next week. I’m really happy about that because they haven’t been here since we moved to Iowa. I’ve already started to think about things I’d like to show them and do with them. Hopefully our springtime Iowa weather will cooperate.

The craziness of the week will be worth it all tomorrow when Dana and I head off for a couples retreat with the Brothers of St. John! No, there is no party at our house this weekend!

April 21, 2010

2010-04-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

The last week or so seems to have escaped me. I’m not sure I could put my finger on anything specific that we’ve done but it has just blown by me. I did manage to get some exercise in there including a walk to the park and playing Frisbee with the girls and my eating wasn’t awful, but neither aspect was well managed. Not my most focused effort and the result was a slight yoyo in my weight. Today, I am down 31 pounds from when I started on March 5^th! I have redoubled my efforts today and intend to get back with the plan. My short term goal is to have lost 51 pounds by the time I leave for Colorado on June 10^th.

We’ve got a busy weekend ahead of us with Charlene appearing in 3 performances of Robin Hood and Catherine helping out backstage. Matthew Kelly is also coming to our church for talks Sunday and Monday evenings. I’m really looking forward to everything; I just know it will be a little busy.

I wanted to share a comment that was sent to me privately (because he couldn’t get it to post on my blog) because it addresses an issue that has come up in several responses to my journey to health.

“There is no greater sadness than not facing the truth, for when you know the truth the truth shall set you free. Although you may be tempted to think so, know that this does not define you. What defines you (and all of us) is the love that Christ bears for us and the love we bear for one another. And no greater love exists than this, that one should lay down one's life for one's friends. In our prayer, we lay down our life for you and we know you for us. Father Ed.”

I needed this reminder because while my head knows who I am, it is easy to let one piece of your life define you. I don’t want the fact that I’m an overweight woman trying to get in shape to define me. I would rather be defined by the fact that I am a Catholic wife and mother. Simply trying to lose weight for its own sake is pointless. I might have some success. I have in the past, but it’s fleeting. Losing weight because it makes me a better person and enables me to be a better wife and mother is a much better reason, but indeed it is only a part of who I am.

I really appreciated those of you that made comments that my weight has never affected how you perceive me. That means a lot, but I don’t want that to change because somehow I become debilitated by something I could have changed.

My path to heaven is through my vocation, and how I live that vocation defines me. (I find that quite freeing by the way!) The reason I want to lose weight is not because I want a hot body, though that wouldn’t be a bad consequence, but rather because I want to be healthy and able to enjoy all the benefits as well as bear the responsibilities of my vocation. I want to play in the park with my family, see my kids grow old and witness their kids driving them as crazy as they have me at times and so much more. In order to do that, I need to make changes in my life and improve my health.

Matthew Kelly speaks of becoming the best version of ourselves and while that is a really simplistic statement it really is loaded with truth. Becoming the best version of Marion means changing my lifestyle with regard to exercise and eating but it also makes demands in other areas of my life. Right now, the outward focus of my desire to change is most visible in my health but rest assured there are other areas I am also working on. I also know that many of my friends and family are sharing a similar struggle and so, if we can somehow do it together, so much the better.

Video Link

2010-04-13T08:14:00.000-05:00

Youtube's feed doesn't appear to be working the way I think it should or thought it did anyway, so here is the link to Dana and I dancing Chatahoochee

It's Monday again!

2010-04-12T12:54:00.000-05:00

Wow, I hadn't planned this to be only a Monday morning thing, but that certainly a trend with me. This week should be calmer for me though, so who knows what will happen if get all my school work done!

We had an awesome weekend at the Iowa State Square and Round Dance Convention in Ottumwa. The couple of times I got to hear Christina call she did really well. Dana did a great job cueing and I survived the round we demonstrated and taught. The video should show up on my feed once Youtube does it's thing. We missed Justin because he was still recovering from his appendicitis, but we'll see him next month at the dance he and Christina are calling for the Ocean Waves. (It's May 22nd if anyone wants to come!)The facilities for the convention were really nicely laid out, the only downside was that the floors were all concrete. Our legs are pretty tired!

I think I did pretty well with my food for the weekend. I had taken breakfast and lunch so we only ate dinner out. I think I made good choices when we ate out. I did find that because I was dancing so much, I wanted carbs more than I usually do. I'm not sure I believe the Wii this morning though it would be great if it is correct. It says I lost 9 pounds over the weekend. That would bring my total to 30 pounds lost since I started this in March! I made all the girls weigh themselves on it too and it seemed give them results we would expect, but I'm still a little skeptical.

Saturday evening was an even to basically hand the convention over from the group that hosted it this year to next years group. Dana and I will be co-chairing the programming, specifically we will be doing the rounds portion, and so, we joined in the festivities. Catherine and Christina were asked to help by wearing these little bear hats and mitts. I'm not sure how it helped bolster the next convention, but people sure got a kick out of it this year! They had swarms of little kids flocking to them. (I don't know where these kids came from by the way!)

Yesterday we came home and did a few things but mostly wanted to collapse. Christina had a friend over for dinner which was nice but that was about it!

This week should be mostly school and work though we are going to a Casting Crowns concert tomorrow night and we do have some of our regular dance stuff going on. I'll write more when I can.

Monday Morning

2010-04-05T12:14:00.000-05:00

Technically, it's Monday afternoon but that will give you a clue of how things are going today.

I have two new classes that begin today, International Relations and an English Literature and Composition class. I also still have my Physics and Physics lab classes running. I'm trying to get on top of everything because I know Dana and I are leaving Thursday afternoon and I won't be able to do much school over the weekend. It looks like I have a whole bunch of reading to do!

I also would really like the house to look nice when we return on Sunday and there are some little piddly jobs that need to get done. The girls and I are working on those.

Easter was great. I allowed myself a glass of wine to celebrate and a few M&M's with Peanuts and I still saw a slight drop on the scale this morning. Today, it is back to being really good though.

I've received some interesting confirmations that I'm doing the right thing in sharing something so personal here. I won't relate the stories because they are others, but it has been very helpful. I also had a great phone conversation with a long-time friend this morning. She reminded me of some things I had already learned, but needed to hear and shared a little of how she works with a similar issue. It was good. I am so thankful that God has placed all these wonderful people in my life!

Well, that's going to have to be it for now because I really want to get a walk in and then, I need to hit the books. I'll write as I can but this week might prove pretty busy.

Pray that I can make good choices and take the right food with me for the weekend!

What I'm doing now

2010-04-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

I’m sure I’ll elaborate on some of these topics later, but here are the basics or at least as basic as I can get them!

The first place I made change I made was my prayer life. I can’t do this on my own. It doesn’t matter if it is weight loss or life in general, I can’t do it alone. I need to recognize that there is a God who is greater than I can even fathom and I need to spend time with Him so I can understand His ways and become more like Him. I had a prayer life before, but I’ve had to re-devote my focus and dedication to it. I needed to change some things and add some new things. I needed to read books by people that are smarter than me and then, I need to come back to prayer and discern what the new information means in my life.

The second change was in my nutrition. I began this process with a few days on a liquid diet called UltraInflamX by Metagenics. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever tasted, but it made me appreciates food for what it is, fuel. I also did some updates on supplements that I was taking.

Some people can be connoisseurs of food and indulge in whatever they might like. I am not one of those people, nor will I ever be. I’m mostly okay with that but it has definitely been a mental exercise. When I want something I have to stop myself and determine if it is a need or a want.

Everything that I eat is entered in my food journal on Sparkpeople. It’s a pain to begin with but it honestly becomes a habit. When I need to eat something, I look at the calories I have available for the day and make my selection based on how many calories I have remaining for the day. If you’d like to see what my foods are you can create a Sparkpeople account and find me. My ID is praymom.

I stick to as unprocessed foods as I can without making it so I feel like I’ve got an impossible task before me. I buy mostly organic vegetables because I don’t like the chemicals that are used. I purchase grass fed beef so I’m not getting corn every time I eat a piece of cow. I’ve also switched the personal care products I use to organic choices. I still have a few that I hold on to, but I haven’t found suitable replacements yet.

As for how I determined how many calories I should have each day, I used the basic guidelines in Dr. Huizenga’s book. According to that, my ideal calorie range is 1072-1304 each day. I understand that too few calories will have an adverse affect on my weight loss, so I try to make sure I eat at least 1072 calories each day and that I don’t go over the 1304. Most of the time, I eat right about 1100 kcal per day. I am amazed at how much food 1100 kcal really is! Assuming I’m eating real food, that’s a lot of food.

I even made it through our ballroom weekend where we were eating out. I ordered my meals gluten free which meant that the twice baked potato turned into a plain backed potato and there was no sauce on my meat. I ate half the potato and half the steak and all of the carrots, despite the fact I don’t really like carrots. The next day when everyone else had a BBQ bacon chicken sandwich with fries and ice cream, I had a moist chicken breast with fresh fruit. Oh, I did eat about half of the lemon cake on Saturday! It was too good and I just steered away from the frosting. My net result was a .4 lb gain for the weekend. That could be that I was wearing different clothes and I can LIVE with that.

We’ve got some more traveling events coming up that I’m already starting to think about how I will handle food. I have a small cooler for day trips and a larger one when I need it. The trick is planning ahead. I’m still working on healthy recipes that travel well. If you have ideas please share. I have one from a friend that I haven’t tried yet but I hope to next week.

One other mental change I needed to make… I do not expect to eat what my skinny family is eating. I need to eat what I need. Their needs are different from mine. It doesn’t mean they should eat unhealthy food but Christina, who dances 6-8 hours a day, can handle eating a lot more carbohydrates than I can. She can eat pasta and bread. I can’t. That’s okay.

And yes, of course, I need to exercise. I had discovered through the program I did at the YMCA and my experience with an extreme kickboxing program that intense exercise doesn’t do a lot to help me lose weight. I didn’t understand why until I started reading about adrenal fatigue. When I got my hormone tests back, it was plain to see that my adrenal glands are fatigued which basically means my body is in “fight” mode. It’s working so hard just to function that my extreme exercising was just adding stress to my body. This realization has been a real key for me. I need to exercise, but I need to do it at moderate levels. Three hours of high intensity aerobics or a kickboxing class that makes marines whimper is not moderate!

For Christmas, we got the family a Nintendo Wii. I have to say that is has been one of the best ‘game’ things we have brought into the house. If the weather is bad or even if it’s good, I can get on the Wii in the morning, do my little body test which includes weighing myself and spend 30 minutes doing some silly exercise. I have discovered that I like the boxing, the step and the marching band to get my heart rate up.

As the weather has begun to improve, I have been spending more time outside. I go for walks. I may jog a little here and there, but honestly, I’m not sure my joints are quite ready to have 100 extra pounds stressing them quite that hard so for now, I walk most of the time. KV, our overweight sheltie, sometimes joins me but I find that she often slows me down so Charlene starts out with me and then takes her home when she slows up. The last couple of days, Christina has walked with me. It gives us time to talk. Walking article on Spark people

Sparkpeople also has a neat tool that lets me map my route and based on the time it takes me to walk it calculates calories burned. I’m not sure the burn rate is real accurate, but it gives me an idea of what I’m doing today, so I can compare with what I will be doing next month.

Dana and I are still taking ballroom lessons, going to practice parties and square and round dancing whenever we can. I just didn’t find any of those exercises to be quite enough to give me what I need.

The other big thing that has changed for me is my mental attitude. I have realized that if I want to be around for my family, I need to focus on what it is going to take to get me healthy. There were times that I felt this was a selfish choice, but now, I see that not doing something about my weight was a more selfish choice. I was saying that I was going to do and eat what I want, regardless of the consequence it had for my family. That was not acceptable. So, while I am doing this so that I can be healthier, my family will also reap the benefits.

I can’t even begin to tell you how supportive the girls have been. They never seem to care that their mom is opening up a very personal part of her life to many of their peers and friends. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. They have been very supportive and encouraging by helping me with whatever is needed. I appreciate that more than I can ever express. It’s going to be a long journey and I’m sure we’ll have our moments but I think we all know that in this case the end is worth the means.

My short-term goals are to keep going with the plan I’ve been following being very careful about foods while we are out of town, increasing exercise as I can and lose about 10 pounds in April. I will re-evaluate at the end of the month.

I know from the responses that I received that some of you want to make changes in your lives. Here are my questions for you: What are you going to do today? What are you goals for the month? What changes do you need to make? Be specific and realistic. If you don’t want to post them here, send me a facebook message or a private email at Marion@givethx.com .

Blessings and prayers,
Marion

What have I learned?

2010-04-01T09:48:00.000-05:00

This is just a few of the things I’ve learned along the way. I’m still trying to practice them. I suspect I will write more about them at some future point.

Thank you to everyone that has written me in response to yesterday’s post. Your prayers and definitely felt and you are all in my prayers.

The more I know, the more I know I don’t know.

In order to lose weight you must be willing to change and it isn’t always going to be easy. I’m amazed at how many people say, ‘I need to do something’ and then do nothing, but in truth, I know I have been one of those people.

God is in control and as much as I think I want control, I don’t.

There is a difference between a need and a want.

We need to spend time every day in the classroom of silence.

I do not need a cheeseburger!

Reading good books enhances brain capabilities. When we stop learning, we start dying.

We need to be very careful about the images we are giving our young people as to what it means to be healthy. The anorexic model should not be our children’s or our model.

Not every 5’8” person should weigh 145 pounds, despite what some table might say. Tables don’t think, they relay statistics. Statistics can be manipulated. Weight is a number and while it gives me a relationship, it should not define who I am.

I’d give a lot to be as ‘fat’ as I was in high school.
Hormones are interconnected. The more stressed we are, the more other things go out of whack!

If your adrenal glands are fatigued, then intense cardio will not be as helpful because your body is already in flight mode.

Drugs are made by companies that want to make money. They spend $$$ trying to get your doctors to write you prescriptions for them. They aren’t all bad but should be considered with extreme caution.

I have to exercise and it is okay to enjoy it!

If it hurts, offer it for a good cause and get over it!

Biofreeze is my friend!

If you are serious about losing weight, you must count calories at a minimum and probably should also track protein, carbohydrates and fat. Yes, there are some relations those should all be too each other but that varies depending on the person. What is true though is that in order to lose weight you need to burn more calories than you eat. Some of us don’t burn as much as we think we do.

I like www.sparkpeople.com for tracking nutrition and exercise. It’s not perfect but it’s the closest I’ve found and it’s free. They also have an application that works on the iPhone so you can track as you go.

Food is fuel. Some fuel makes your body run well while other foods clog your carburetor. I choose how I want my body to function.

I like to start by filling my plate with vegetables and then, add the meat and anything else.

High fructose corn syrup should be avoided along with other artificial sweeteners.
If you want sweet, go for good old fashion sugar, honey or real maple syrup. Better yet, have a piece of fruit!

I also need to pay attention to grains like wheat and corn because our foods are inundated with them and they aren’t the best fuel for me.

Avoid over processed food. The closer I can find food to the source, the better.

I will be watching what I eat the rest of my life and I don’t mean just looking at it as I shovel it in!

I’ve got a lot more to learn!

Where I've been...

2010-03-31T16:11:00.000-05:00

I have often wondered how much of my personal story I should share. I’m pretty comfortable with sharing what we are doing and bits of faith observations, but there is a piece of my life that I am more guarded about. I recently started to broach this subject when I mentioned that I had decided to commit the major I really want for school but I haven’t been as direct as I might have otherwise been.

I’ve been praying a lot lately about what God’s plan is for my life and how can I be the best version of myself. (Thank you, Matthew Kelly!) As I was trying to listen for God to give me some clue, I received three different contacts regarding my path. Without going into details of those contacts, I think it is fair to say that it’s time for me to open up this other are of my life. It’s the one that is most vulnerable but here it is…

My name is Marion and I am morbidly obese! There is no subtle way to say it or sugar-coat it. Heaven knows I’ve been coating things with sugar for enough of my life! That word ‘morbid’ is a pretty scary word. I’ve always associated it with death which isn’t that far off for me but it could also mean gruesome. As much as I’d like to ignore it, it is gruesome to be this overweight and the things it is doing to my body are terrifying.

On March 5, 2010, already committed to beginning a new path, I stepped on the scaled to see the highest number I have ever seen, 301 pounds! Although it was a high in one way, it was an extreme low in another. As of, March 31, 2010, I weighed in at 283 pounds. It’s not even close to where I want or need to be, but it is progress in the right direction and I am not giving up.

I didn’t reach this point overnight and I know it’s not going to be an overnight fix. Perhaps for the first time in my life, I have realized that I am going to have to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I’ve been good at trying to fool myself into believing that somehow the weight will just vanish and I’ll be able to lead a “normal” life. Normal is of course, eating whatever and I want in as large of a quantity as I want. Well, that just isn’t realistic.

The piece of my story that I feel really compelled to write about is how I got here and then, I’d like to continue writing about what I’m doing to get healthy. It’s never easy to look back at mistakes see them for what they are and I am certain that there are many things I have pushed from my memory as a defense mechanism, but here is at least a start of the story.

I remember spending some time over the summer with my grandparents and returning to school only to discover that I was quite a bit taller than my classmates. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was also “larger”. In high school, some of the boys caught up with me in height, but I was always “bigger” than the girls. At my school, it seemed I was surrounded by little tiny girls that barely broke 120 pounds. By the time I graduated high school and got married, I weighed 180 pounds. I thought I was fat and by many weight tables I was.

Here was the truth I didn’t see. I was dancing 6-7 nights a week for approximately 3 hours a night. This wasn’t dancing some then sitting some, this was pretty solid dancing. (Every tip, every round!) Today, it would be an awesome level for a cardio workout. At some point, I had an opportunity to do a body fat analysis in a water tank. The results showed that I was right around 20% body fat. Most charts today, show that in the “Very Good” range and yet, I still felt I was fat.

Dana was only about 1” shorter than I was and he only weight 120 pounds and that was if we threw him the pool with his clothes wet! I even missed the fact that he was so underweight that I had to keep Compazine on hand in case he got sick because it could turn ugly so quickly that he ended up in the hospital.

Also going on about this time were some female issues. Boys, if you are squeamish, too bad. You need to understand what your ladies go through and be there with them. My cycles were irregular and so the doctor put me on birth control pills. I was also told I had something called PCOS. I didn’t know what it meant, but birth control pills would fix everything! Despite my Church’s teachings, I figured I knew better and it was for a “medical” reason, so I was even justified! Never mind the fact that we didn’t really want kids; that was just a perk!

I don’t want to get in an argument about birth control pills with any of my medical friends so save yourself the keystrokes of writing me if that was your plan. Birth control pills are evil! Not only are they an excuse for people to have sex outside of marriage but there are introducing chemicals to your body that are not natural. Have you ever wondered why infertility rates have climbed since birth control pills have been on the market? We are told they prevent conception, but what they really do is prevent the fertilized egg from implanting and therefore cause spontaneous abortions. All in the name of “freedom”!

So, back to my story… I’m popping my pill every day right on time and then there comes a day when I start to feel “different”. I make an appointment at the doctor only to discover I am pregnant. Hum, they weren’t very effective as birth control either. I miscarried a few short weeks later. I know now that God used that miscarriage to change my and Dana’s hearts regarding children but I can’t even express the sadness that a baby had to die so I could wake up to my mistake!

Some place along the way we stopped dancing and I had my first ankle reconstruction. We were still pretty good at leading our fast food paced life though.

Christina came along in 1990 after the assistance of fertility drugs. It’s ironic though not funny that I was taking drugs to not get pregnant and then, switched to drugs to get pregnant. I don’t remember exactly what my weight was before and after my pregnancy, but I know I didn’t gain much because I was quite busy worshiping the porcelain bowl. I think I had crept to somewhere around 205-210 pounds.

Christina’s birth also brought us back to the Church. It began a journey of faith that we continue along today.

By the time I had Catherine in 1993, I was weighing between 250 pounds. It’s worth noting that I didn’t really gain my weight while I was pregnant but rather, when I was nursing. I think someone told me I needed to eat for two. Well, that was no problem!

Catherine’s birth was followed by another miscarriage a year or so later.

About this time, Phen-Phan was hitting the market and people were losing weight like gang busters. I knew I needed to get rid of some of these “extra” pounds and so, I talked to my doctor and they were more than happy to oblige me with pills. I managed to lose 50 pounds which took me right at 200 pounds. I also got pregnant with Charlene in the last couple of weeks I was taking those magic pills.

It was a difficult pregnancy with Charlene. I was sick as I had been the others, but I just couldn’t do the things I had before. I managed to fall into a busy street and break my foot where they had done the attachment for the ankle surgery. My net weight gain for the pregnancy was 5 pounds. The day after I had her I weighed 195 pounds. Charlene was also born 5 weeks early. My doctor wouldn’t trust that I knew when I got pregnant better than he did and since she seemed to be a “healthy” weight of 8’14” they discharged her from the hospital despite my telling them she wasn’t nursing properly.

By the time she was 5 days old she was down to 7’10” and running 104 degree fever. She was rapidly dehydrating. I know God worked a miracle the day I sat in the pediatrician’s office while they made arrangements to re-admit her to the hospital. I managed to get her to nurse a little and it brought her fever down. We avoided the re-admission to the hospital, but it only started a journey of trying to get this little girl to gain weight. There were lactations consultants and plenty of people telling me to eat so she had the proper nutrition. In a world that seemed out of control and scary, of course I could eat! I think it took us 4 months to get Charlene just back to her birth weight. I on the other hand was gaining weight well!

I don’t even remember what my weight was at the end of that but I know it was climbing. 1998 brought a move to Colorado and a hamstring injury. The PCOS thing would come up whenever I went for my female exam but other than the irregular cycles, I wasn’t aware of any big issues connected with it.

In 1999 we went off to Japan for awhile. We returned home in 2000. I can’t say that Japan had any huge affect on my weight though I do know I was really big over there! I did have a back problem begin that turned out to be 2 collapsed discs. Oh, and right before I went over there, I broke my foot again. I came home and had ankle surgery number two!

While I was recovering, Dana started back square dancing and this time he was taking Christina and Catherine with him.

There was a second trip to Japan for five weeks in 2001 and I was finally able to start doing a little square dancing by this point. I had no stamina but I could dance some.

In late 2002, I was referred to a chiropractor/nutritionist by a couple of friends. I took it as a sign from God that two different people, completely unrelated had suggested the same doctor to me. And indeed it was. In early 2003, I started on a nutrition and supplement plan and for the first time, I felt like I was losing weight the right way.

At this point, I think I was around 270 pounds but I’m not sure. I lost some weight though, probably about 20 pounds and I was feeling great. I finally felt healthy or at least that I was on a healthy path. At this point it was suggested that I avoid several foods since I had ‘sensitivities’ to them. They included wheat, corn, dairy and some other items. I could feel the difference not having these items in my diet and it was great!

I believe this was the first time in my life that I started to understand what it meant to live a healthy lifestyle. In July of 2003, I learned I was pregnant. I was so excited. I had figured that because of the PCOS another child was really unlikely but I was so thankful. On my first visit to the doctor we learned we were having twins! My next visit, about 4 weeks later because I had started bleeding, showed me the destroyed amniotic sac and that there would be no babies for us!

While this was going on, I was working at our church at Our Lady of Loreto. I had told so many people our good news and now, I was left to tell the bad news. I buried myself in work. The day I actually lost our babies, I was acting as a wedding coordinator for a young couple’s wedding. I can only pray that the lose I felt that day might be offered for that couple’s openness to life in their marriage.

My earlier miscarriages as well as the two I have had since and have been quite early and while the life is no less, my attachment is somehow different. I saw these babies on the ultrasound and then, I saw their end. It was devastating for me. I was mad and I was hurt. It felt to me as if I had finally started to get my health back on track and then, looked what happened. As stupid as it sounds now, I figured I might as well eat what I pleased because it didn’t matter!

I returned to my lifelong addiction to Coca-Cola, not to mention fatty, greasy foods that were unhealthy for me. I felt I was entitled to it. It makes me laugh now because I can’t believe how stupid I was, but I somehow felt justified.

I stayed on that stupid path for awhile and stopped seeing the doctor that had been helping me. I know there were times I gave up soda for as much as 6 months only to go back to it with a vengeance.

By this point I had started to read and learn about my condition and some of the things that were working against me. I started taking some thyroid medicine which helped me to at least get out of bed. I had no want for doctors that wanted to give me meds for this and for that. I think the classic one was that because my body hurt, I must be depressed and so, I was put on Prozac. It couldn’t have been the fact that I was fat! Fortunately it didn’t take me long to get off that path!

In 2005 I learned about hormone testing and that while the thyroid was certainly a piece of what I needed to work on, hormones are all interconnected and so just caring for one might not really help. I also learned that thyroid blood tests shouldn’t be the only way of testing thyroid levels, but that’s likely a topic for another time. I began working with a doctor and a compounding pharmacist and started to feel a little better, again. Oh, and I had my third ankle surgery!

I was also reading about Metabolic Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and Insulin Resistance.

November of 2005, Dana was laid off from Raytheon. At this same point the doctor said I needed to reduce my stress. I laughed in his face!

So, in my stupid attempts to cut expenses, I cut back to only the thyroid medication and the progesterone that I was on. I started having some pain in my lower right abdominal region. At first we thought it was related to the PCOS, but an ultrasound and a uterine biopsy later they sent me to a gastrointestinal surgeon. I never made that appointment because in August of 2006, Dana got a job in Iowa and everyone in my life was so distracted, I just continued to ignore whatever was going on.

November of 2006 the girls and I joined Dana in Iowa. We lived in two hotel rooms until the end of the year and then moved into a rental house. I was still having pain but I continued to ignore it for the most part.

In August of 2007 I saw an ad for a class called the “Biggest Loser”. It was a program being run at the YMCA through our community college. Hopeful that I could see the same results as some of the Biggest Loser Candidates, I signed up. It began in September and lasted 10 or 12 weeks. I had high hopes! The program only called for an hour of exercise a day and some gradual changes in eating. Not what I was looking for but I could just do more!

I worked out like a mad woman. I was at the gym at 5:45 AM doing cardio, then, I would do some sort of aerobics class in the gym followed by water aerobics in the pool. I averaged 3 hours a day of working out. My eating was okay, but the guide was pushing me in a direction for eating that was different that what I had learned I should be eating. My net result for 10 weeks, 3 hours a day, 6 days a week was 9 pounds of weight loss. Yeah, that was pretty discouraging! Here comes the soda again!

Believe it or not, I actually lost some weight when I started drinking soda again. I don’t get it and yes, it was full sugar or high fructose corn syrup soda! I tried to justify all sorts of stupid things with that realization!

A couple of good things did come out of that Biggest Loser program. I was connected with a chiropractor that gave me a supplement that eliminated the pain in my side and I realized that the gym wasn’t a scary place. I also developed some level of stamina and while I did go back to the soda after a time, I still realized where I needed to be going even if I wasn’t doing it. I wasn’t adapting well to life in Iowa and so, I used all sorts of excuses to not make changes I knew I needed to.

February of 2009 brought another lay off for Dana. To make a long story short, we spent the summer living with some friends on a farm. During our time there, despite the concerns over Dana’s work, I could tell that God was working on my heart and my head.

I read a book by Dr. Rob Huizenga who is the doctor for the Biggest Loser. The book talked about the program that TBL candidates go through and more importantly what was given the year that they did a show where they had 50 people, one from each state and they had to do their journey at home. It gave me more food for though.

I also read Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels which had some really good suggestions in it.

So, there I was, sitting on a farm with what should have been a stressful life and while it had those moments there was this sense of inner peace that was coming as well. I couldn’t explain it but I craved it.

Dana returned to school and I decided that might be a good idea for me as well. My original thought was to just get an AA degree, but God has since corrected that path.

When Dana began working again in August, it didn’t take me long to realize that I needed to start doing something other than reading and learning. I needed to make changes.

I began school in October and while I did have at least one distraction of a highly stressful job, I was able to see clearly and remedy that and get back on track. I can’t say that I made any huge changes immediately, but there was definitely something different. I knew I had all these pieces of a puzzle that I needed to put together and if I could, I would be on the right path to getting healthy.

With the assistance of a nurse practitioner, I redid the hormone testing, which resulted in adjusting the thyroid meds and restarting the progesterone along with several other supplements. I began those adjustments on March 5, 2010 and to give myself some time to break some bad habits, I did so with the aid of a liquid diet which I used for a few days and then, I began introducing healthy vegetables, followed by lean proteins.

I’d like to get more into the details of what I am doing but this is already quite long and so, I’m going to wrap it up for now and save that for another day. This is for the most part where I’ve been, at least as well as my old memory can recall. I need to learn to let go of the bad parts, the unhealthy habits and focus on where I’m at right now. Today, I was able to do 30 minutes of aerobic exercise and then, I went for a walk with Christina. I’ve eaten healthy though I’ve sat her so long writing that I’m hungry for dinner. I am going dancing tonight!

I’m not writing all of this to say ‘Woe is me’ or to elicit sympathy or even praise. I’ve already given myself quite enough of sympathy. I don’t need that! I’m writing this because I’d like your prayers and I’m thinking that there may be a couple of you reading this that might want to join me.

Thank you as always!

Blessings and prayers,

Marion

Iowa Dancesport Classic

2010-03-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

We had an awesome weekend at IDC! Things just seemed to go very smoothly. The most difficult part was getting up at 5:30 AM on Sunday to go to Mass before things began, but we made it.

Saturday they held competitions and evaluations during the day.

Catherine competed with her partner Kevin. They had several heats where they were unopposed, but in the 5 heats where they were competing against the college kids they were awarded 1st place in waltz, foxtrot, rumba and cha cha and 2nd place in tango!

Christina competed with several of her students and they all did very well. She has some great students and I'm amazed at how quickly they are learning---and slightly envious!

Dana and I did non-competitive heats in International Foxtrot and International Rumba. We will receive the results of those evaluations tonight at our lesson. I expect some good and some points we need to work on.

As for why Dana and I don't compete well, to begin with, I'm not a very competitive person. I dance for fun. But, it's mostly because I dance to dance well with my husband and not to prove that I'm better than anyone else. Though, after some discussion we are thinking we might go ahead and compete next year. We also hope to International Waltz and International Cha cha to our repertoire.

The evening included dinner and a social dance with special performances by Susie and Derrick Murray, Susie is the co-owner of Dance New York and her husband Derrick also teaches there, as well as Tomas Mielnicki and JT Thomas who are World Ballroom Champions and just happen to have been trained by Edward Simon, the other co-owner of Dance New York where Christina works.

Sunday morning brought us workshops. Dana and I only elected to take one on arm styling and position. It was a bit challenging because we didn't really know the steps they were using to add the styling to, but we muddled through it with the help of some talented partners. We have a video tape of the main teaching points that we can review which I'm sure will be helpful.

After lunch, came the showcases. There were all sorts. Most are students dancing with their instructors, but a few brave amateur couples. Christina danced with several of her students and Charlene had her dream for the last year and a half of dancing a foxtrot with her daddy, fulfilled! It brought tears to my eyes! (In a good way!) Catherine even helped out with one of the showcases!

Once the amateurs were done, it was time for the professionals. Susie and Christina switched things up by dancing a Foxtrot together. And then, Christina and Derrick danced an East Coast Swing in her new dress!
The showcases concluded with another couple of dances by JT and Tomas as well as the sad announcement that they will no longer be competing. The good news is that they will be continuing to do performances!

Settling on a major

2010-03-20T16:52:00.000-05:00

It’s been quite a while since I posted anything here. You’d think that life had been busy or something, but really it’s just the opposite. That isn’t to say that we are leading a boring life and sitting around and twiddling our thumbs all day, but there is a calm. I think, after all of the chaos, we are, or at least I am, settling into a rhythm for life. I’ve had some time to just sit back and read and it is truly wonderful. I’ve also been able to get back to a more regular rhythm of prayer. Exercise is happening more consistently and I’ve been successful in losing about 15 pounds so far.

School is coming along for me. I finally decided on the major I wanted, a BS in Sports and Health Sciences with a minor in Exercise Science. It is something I have been interested in for a long time but I felt like I couldn’t do it because I was too out of shape. It does feel as if I am sticking my neck out a bit in my choice; however, what better way to hold myself accountable? They say goals should be specific, measurable and have a deadline. This one is for me, in a very real sense. I know I have a lot to do in my personal life in this area, but I am making progress and I think this will be a great motivation for me, not to mention a great learning opportunity.

From a practical standpoint, it is an emerging market in that the obesity rate is growing quickly today so I shouldn’t lack for clients and I think it will allow me the flexibility that I would like in any type of work. Besides, who would you prefer to have with you if you are trying to lose weight, some skinny little twig that can eat chocolate all day and never gain a pound or someone that knows what it is like to struggle? Yes, I know, that presupposes that I actually succeed in getting my weight and health where I want them, but I am confident in God’s grace and I am becoming fanatical with counting calories and exercise! I’ve got a long way to go in my personal journey, but now I will have it in my face daily because of my life and my classes.

It feels as if this Lent has been one of stripping away excuses and barriers and allowing transformation. For the first time, in a long time, I feel very hopeful in the area of my health. It’s not that there is some major even that happened, but rather, in this respite that the Lord has seen fit to give me, I have been able to put several pieces together that I’ve known I needed to change. There has been a variety of reasons and a few excuses, I had not done so before, but those no longer matter. I need to live for today. And today, I am going to make the right choices.

I think that is enough for now. I’ll try to post more often. I’m sure we’ll have at least some pictures after IDC next weekend.
Blessings and prayers,
Marion

Just some notes...

2010-02-02T09:11:00.000-06:00

It’s been a month already since I sat down and wrote something that wasn’t a school assignment or a response to a ticket at work.

On a bright note, I actually read a book! I know that sounds trivial, but those of you that really know me know that I rarely read fiction—outside of a news website that is! So, here’s how it happened…

Catherine purchased the first season of the Legend of the Seeker series on DVD for the family as a Christmas present. We began sitting down and watching them as a family over the Christmas “break”. It was a good way for us all to spend some time together with Dana and I both feeling like we were running away for work and burying our heads in school. I enjoyed them. Yes, I was surprised.

After his deployment, Brice came out for a visit. By this time, we had finished the first season and were trying to catch up with the second season that we didn’t know had started already. It was pretty funny to watch him while we were watching them. It was like he was having little battles with himself and almost in a state of disbelief! It was kind of entertaining.

He tells us he has read the series the TV show was based on and while the characters have the same names, the show takes a great deal of creative license. His ranting encourages me to read the series. I acquiesce.
Last week was finals week for me with my Geography and English classes. I had managed to get ahead on English and the only thing I really had to do was the final for Geology. Yes, there were other things for real life that I should have done, but it was very nice to just sit and read.

I read “Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind and I enjoyed it. As Brice said, there are some significant differences from the series but I have just come to accept that it is rather like seeing the last Star Trek, an alternate story line. I should mention it isn’t a series I would encourage younger children to read because it does have some adult subjects, but it is very easy to see the battle between good and evil, not to mention how evil can consume someone.

Perhaps the worst part of enjoying the book is that it is book 1 of a 12 book series and each book is an abnormally large paperback. Wizard’s First Rule is over 800 pages and the Stone of Tears (Book 2) is almost 1000! Ugh! I got sucked in!  I was pleased with myself though because while I have Stone of Tears setting on the table and I am just a few chapters in, I came home and began reading my Physics book last night like a good girl! I figure I’ll save the pleasure reading until the school work is complete for the week.

As a follow up note, I managed to get an ‘A’ in my Geography class which was much more difficult and comprehensive than I thought it would be. My English teacher hasn’t posted our final grades, but it should be either an ‘A-‘ or if she is feeling generous, an ‘A’. This week I began an 8-week Algebra class (yes, I’m hoping it will be easy math credit) and a 16 week Physics class. It should be a nice change of pace.

Work has got much busier and I’m back to working full-time. For the most part, I really like what I do, it’s just difficult to feel so torn between home and work not to mention it is taking a toll on my physically. Alas, this too shall pass.
Overall, the girls are doing well though they are definitely missing my presence at home. They are my anchors at home while I am gone.

Charlie got the part of the “Baker’s wife” in Robin Hood at MHSAP. Catherine is the teen in charge of props and sets for the play. It sounds like they are having fun. School work is progressing well it seems.
Christina is busy at work. Not only is she teaching ballroom, but she got certified as a Zumba instructor and so, she is teaching several of those classes each week as well.

Dana’s work is going well. He and I managed to take a belated anniversary weekend get-a-way in January. We didn’t go too far, but it was nice to have time just for us. We did get to spend some time exploring the Amana Colonies which although it is only 45 minutes away from home we just hadn’t made it to. It was nice!

Okay, enough me time, I need to get on with my day! My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T11:09:00.000-06:00

“The LORD bless you and keep you: The LORD make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you: The LORD lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

I’ve been thinking about the last year, and although there is a portion that was a slightly stressful blurry period of time, which I would be hard-pressed to put anything that happened during that time in chronological order, there were so many blessings. We found a parish with a good and holy pastor! We made some new friends and connected with some old ones. After 2 ½ years of living here, I finally started to feel like I belonged in Iowa—at least for now. Charlie learned to pick and love raspberries. Catherine learned to drive a golf cart. Christina learned more dances than I can name. Dana finished his Associates of Science degree—all but the final paperwork anyway. We adopted 3 kittens. I learned some patience, though certainly not perfected. There is so much more. Yes, there have been things that happened this year that I didn't like, but the past is the past and we can't live there. Today is where were are and where we need to live. Life is good!

What does the New Year hold? I don’t really know or perhaps it’s just that I’ve learned that it’s our job to make some plans, take care of business and then, be willing to give them all up. I think we are going to be living in Iowa for awhile. I think Dana will be working at his present job until about August and mine will end on April 15^th. I think Dana will finish his Bachelor of Science degree in June and likely continue on to a Master’s program. I think I will keep plugging away at my Associates of Science degree in Web Publishing. I think Christina will graduate from Kirkwood in May with her Associates degree. I think Charlie will be in Pinocchio with MHSAP. I think Cat will compete with Kevin in some amateur ballroom competitions. I think Dana and I will enjoy taking ballroom dance lessons. I think we will keep teaching our round dance class. I think Charlie will dance a foxtrot routine with Dana at Iowa Dancesport Classic—and I’m praying Dana’s mom will come for a visit then! I think we will be going to Louisville, KY for Roundalab and the National Square Dance Convention. I think we will be doing some other dancing stuff because it’s just what we do. I think I will keep working on my health. But as I have learned, “What man proposes, God disposes” and so, here are my thoughts and plans, but we will see what GOD has planned. His way is always better and I’m usually the one that needs the attitude adjustment!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T15:30:00.000-06:00

From our family to yours!

Snowed in

2009-12-09T15:18:00.001-06:00

It's yucky outside! We have about a foot of accumulated snow, but now, it is blowing all over the place and it's cold outside! Dana and I decided to not even try to go to work this morning, but he figured about noon that he would be able to go in for awhile and get a little done. Wrong! He couldn't make it out of our driveway. That might be in part because our homeowner association that is supposed to take care of snow removal isn't doing very well with the job (read, not doing the job) or that because we KNEW we had snow removal service we left our snow shovel in the storage unit. Oh well, we are warm inside and Christina got someone from work to meet her down the street so she could take care of things at the studio and stop at Wal-Mart for a snow shovel.

Honestly though, it's been a pretty nice day! I've managed to take care of what I needed to do for my classes, make progress on Christmas letters and order a gift I've been wanting to get for someone. I even found half of my desk. (It's the bottom, when I bent over to pick up a paper that fell off, but who's counting?)

When it's not snowing so we can't leave the house, Dana is back working on a project at Rockwell. He's doing something with something called Datalink and it has to do with airplanes talking to ground or the crew of airplanes talking to whomever on the ground wants to talk to them--in a form of text message. I wonder if someone should have sent a text message to those pilots that got "distracted"? It sounds like this job will last until August. That sounds great to us!

My job is a bit, um, boring right now. I know it will get busier, but for the most part I spend my days trying to learn the system and resources available for me to help clients. The interesting part about being in taxpayer support is that I can't give tax advice. I need to know the tax law and then, lead the client to make their own determination or direct them how to enter their information in our program. It's a fine line, that customers would love us to blur. I have been able to research a couple of email "tickets" that have lead me to know more about adoption subsidies in California than I wanted to know and another that led me into the realms of corporate taxes. It's interesting when I have something to do but for now, 4 hours of interesting work surrounded by 36 hours of less than interesting work is a little unbalanced.

We put our Christmas tree up last weekend. We have put lights on it, but not the ornaments. We wanted to give the kittens time to learn that it was not okay to climb the tree BEFORE we added dangling objects to it to tempt them more. So far so good. Amara has only decided to take her nap on a branch once. Hopefully we will finish our decorating on Sunday.

Well, we have a movie for the evening and plan to just stay in and be warm. I pray you are all safe and warm as well.

Quick update

2009-12-01T12:45:00.000-06:00

I'm on my lunch break so I don't have much time to write which will make me unusually brief.

In case you hadn't heard, Dana's last job assignment came to and end last Wednesday. He heard yesterday that he is going to be moving on to another assignment as soon as they can get the start dates finalized, but probably next week. This new assignment sounds like it will be a little longer term. The upshot of it all is that he has a week or so of unpaid vacation or time to work on my "honey do" list and then, he should be back to business.

I started my new job. So far so good. It's a bit slow right now which makes the days longer, but I've worked in the tax industry long enough to know that won't last. Soon the phone will be ringing off the hook! I'm trying to get used to sitting at a desk, but not so used to it that I won't want to move when I'm done here.

Time for me to get back to work, but I wanted to share the good news!

November 17

2009-11-17T10:31:00.000-06:00

It’s raining outside, so I’ve got soup on the stove. No, Ben, putting soup on the stove will not stop the rain, it will just make us all feel warm inside!

We really had a streak of beautiful weather there for a bit. I went to a retreat with the Brothers of St. John and I couldn’t believe I was walking around outside in a short sleeve shirt. It was gorgeous and an awesome retreat!

Dana continues to work mostly on a day to day basis. The project he is working on could finish up at any time and we really don’t know if and what will be next around the corner.

Sunday was my last day at the airport and I’m as ready as I can be to begin my new job in taxpayer support on the 23rd. I have mixed feelings about leaving, but ultimately, I’m okay with it.

I’ve got one more final paper to write for world religion and I will be finished with my first two classes. The online learning class turned out to be better than I expected. The book we used, “Learn More Now” by Marcia Conner was actually worth reading. My world religion class had a Lutheran minister for a professor that seemed afraid to have any discussion board question that would lead to real discussion. Instead people seemed to do their obligatory responses of “Your answer was very clear and …” Duh! You can’t have a discussion on questions that basically have right and wrong answers. My next two classes begin the first week of December. I think I’ve got an English class and some sort of geography subject. I figured they would be relatively easy while I was adjusting to working full time.

Dana just took his mid-terms last week. We are on a very different schedule when it comes to school because his classes are all 12 weeks and mine are either 8 or 16 weeks long. It felt weird that he started before me and was taking his mid-term as I was starting to work on my final papers. He seems to be doing pretty well. He’s got a meeting scheduled with a counselor tomorrow to make sure he’s where he thinks he is for his degree programs.

Christina is still dancing up a storm. She’s also teaching Zumba classes 5 days a week. She also dance in a benefit dance last weekend. She’s been spending much of her time working with students for some upcoming showcase events.

This week for Cat is all about The Wizard of Oz! She’s on the tech crew for MHSAP’s high school production. We weren’t able to commit when auditions rolled around, but being on tech crew has been a way for her to enjoy her passion in a different way.

Charlie is plugging away around here. School is coming along well. She really seems to enjoy helping with cooking or even coming up with some of her own concoctions. You never know what she’ll put together!

We all continue to pray for our friend Brice who's on a boat someplace in the Bahamas. God bless all those who serve!

Halloween Costumes

2009-10-31T10:22:00.000-05:00

Our Halloween dance with the studio was on Wednesday, so that was at least the first occasion to "dress up".
Some of you might recognize the photo above that was taken in 2007 when CRMD came for their visit. Charlene's costume was inspired by that photo.
I think the antique cabinet in the background makes it perfect!

Catherine opted not to wear 4 foot long green hair to dance at the party. Instead, she decided to don her Yufi costume from her anime convention obsession! For those of you that don't know, Yufi is a character from Final Fantasy.

The studio staff decided to all wear Star Trek related costumes. Christina went for Seven of Nine or some other similar fractional name. What I thought was rather impressive is that her hand piece is made from duct tape and Catherine and Christina made the facial adornments from clay. Cat did the eye one and Christina did the star-like piece.

Nice work girls!

Carving Pumpkins with the Family

2009-10-31T10:10:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday, we spent the evening carving pumpkins. We had made a "quick" trip to Michael's and saw this neat idea for pumpkins using craft pumpkins rather than edible ones. After a second trip back to the store to get the necessary supplies, we popped some pizzas in the oven and had a night of fun making a mess!
I'll leave it to you to figure out who made each one!

Amara and Tavi

2009-10-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the two new additions to the family....

This is Amara. She's just 6 months old and quite a timid little girl.

This is Tavi. He's going to try to rule the world while cowering under the china cabinet or plunging off the balcony! Tavi seems to like to go where he wants and then, he sits there an whines for his sister to join him.

We brought them home this afternoon. We really had intended to only adopt one, but they didn't really want to separate the litter mates and so we decided to take the both. They are very talkative.

They seem to be doing okay with Bella. She's not sure about the whole process, but I think they things are going to work out just fine.

A couple of quick notes

2009-10-26T09:35:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to give a couple of quick updates here because I know there are some people that aren't on Facebook.

First, we ended up taking Kitai back to the animal shelter. :-( It turned out her leg injury was more than we knew about and we just couldn't give her what she would need. We are looking at a couple of other kittens, but won't know about them until later this week. If we get them, I will share more.

Second, Dana's contract work is wrapping up this week at Rockwell. There is another possibility, but it hasn't happened yet and so, we wait.

Given that Dana doesn't have a firm commitment for work, I'm going to see if I can pick up some extra hours at the Tax Act job that I start on November 23rd. I'm not sure if I mentioned this job before, so here's the short rundown. Tax Act has a software to prepare your taxes online. It has been around for 12 years and is based in Cedar Rapids. They need people that have some tax background to answer their Help Desk via phone and email. That's where I come in. I won't be giving tax advice, but rather helping the client enter their information into our program. It sounds like a nice job for the season. It has the benefits of being close and casual. I can wear jeans to work!

I am being taken off the schedule at the airport, but will still be available to fill in based on their need an my availability. I really enjoy working the flights out there, but sometimes I wonder if things will ever settle down and just be normal. There is always some level of drama. We'll see!

Third, the school front is going well. Dana finished his first two classes and is a third of the way through the next three. These classes should finish up his AS and with just a few more, he'll get his BS. It's just a matter of jumping through the right hoops.

I started back to get my Associates of Science in Web Publishing and this week is my mid-term assignments. I may even be stalling writing a paper by writing here!

Christina is getting through her classes as well. If all goes as planned, she will finish her AA in May. Since she has gone full-time at the studio, I know she is really looking forward to being finished with school!

Perhaps in part because of all the studying being done by the older folks in the house, school is going well for Catherine and Charlene too. I am seeing significant progress and I've very pleased with the self-discipline they are both showing.

Finally, just a few prayer requests...
1) For job stuff, that God will show us His plan.
2) For continued discipline in all of our school endeavors.
3) For our friend Brice who will be deploying next month.
4) For my friend Connie's daughter, Beth. The story is complicated but the family could really use your prayers.
5) For a healthy winter for all of us!

Thank you all for your prayers and know that you are each in ours!

Love and prayers,
Marion

October 17, 2009 Corn Maze

2009-10-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a little slow in actually getting this posted, but I didn't want to let it slip by. Back on the 17th while Brice was visiting us, we went to Bloombury Farm to check out their corn maze. I had injured my ankle a couple of weeks before and it was still bothering me, so I decided not to walk the maze and just check out the rest of the attractions.

We were told it took about an hour and a half, average, to get through the 20 acre, approximately 2 mile, maze. Since Brice is supposed to have some level of navigation skill to use for the Coast Guard (it had rained recently to give him some water and familiarity) and Dana, well, he's Dana... I estimated their time would be about an hour.
Even with the stops for photo shoots and time on the observation bridge, they were back to me in 55 minutes!
We had a few minutes for the kids to play on the tires before we headed off to a dance Christina was calling in Marshalltown.

In hindsight, I also realized I never got to write about Christina, Brice and my trip to Nightmare Manor. One of the girls friend's family has done a rather large haunted house in town. He wanted us to come check it out. Some of the family was a little reluctant but Christina, Brice and I decided to be brave. Christina hadn't been to a haunted house other than one that some neighbors set up in their garage, so we figured it would be fun.

It didn't take long for Christina to have the back of my jacket and my shirt in a death grip! I decided it was time for her to take the lead. Well, between Brice and I we pushed her there! We didn't take any photos because it just wouldn't work, but I have a short video clip that plays well in my head. Christina is making her way through one of the doors when something popped out at her! She flew backwards several feet and if Brice wasn't there to catch her, she would have had a very sore tailbone!

I even got spooked once when I saw an evil person one one side of the room and so, I was watching them and keeping my left hand on the wall---or so I thought. It turns out there was another person along that wall and as I brushed my hand across them, they moved and I screamed!

All in all, it was a fun time!

Bella and Kitai

2009-10-19T12:21:00.000-05:00

Somehow, I don't think this will help me get my work done!

Meet Bella! At about 6 months old, she weighs in at a whopping 4.6 pounds. She likes to cuddle on your lap or your chest. (Higher seems better!) In the absence of one of those she will take whichever office chair is available and is not beyond kicking out an occupant. Bella likes to chase feathers on sticks and laser pointers.

Bella is also a jumper. If it's not from my shoulders, it will be across the couch, tapping the desk chair and cat-a-pulting onto the file cabinets! Sorry for the bad pun, but it's Monday!
And then, there is Kitai. Kitai is also around 6 months old, but she's our "bigger" girl at 5.3 pounds. She has apparently suffered some misfortune in her life before us and one of her rear legs is missing at just about the level where that higher pad would be. It doesn't seem to bother her too much though she does have an interesting runway walk--or in this case dash and slide down our stairs onto the linoleum floor! She also likes to play with feathers and laser pointers and despite her slightly larger size, she seems to back off when confronted by Bella, unless she has the altitude advantage!

Kitai is a water drinker. Mind you she's not as interested in the water bowl on the floor where the cats might drink; she'd prefer my glass or the small dish I have taken to giving her on the end table in hopes of keeping her out of my glass! Can you say, "FAIL?"

Brice knew we were missing having a cat and so, while he was with us, he decided to help fill that void. It was supposed to be a surprise for all of the girls but Cat read a message over my shoulder which let the proverbial "cat" out of the bag for her. While Christina was at work we sprung the news on Charlie who screamed with joy! We figured we could still surprise Christina and this way, Charlie could go shopping with us. We made the rounds of the places to adopt pets and finally found these two girls at the animal shelter.

On our way home, we stopped to pick up a Victoria Secrets bag. Christina arrived home to have Brice give her a rather large Victoria Secret bag with a jacket shoved loosely on top. Needless to say, Christina was very surprised to have Brice giving her something from Victoria Secret and almost reticent to open the bag. With a little prodding, she eventually gave in and out popped little Bella! More squealing for joy!

Our goal is for Kitai to own Catherine and Charlene while Bella will possess Christina and I. Dana will, of course, administer to all. Given that they are feline, we will have to see if their plans fit ours!

Our first week with them went pretty smoothly except that they brought home colds which turned into respiratory gunk (yes, that is the official term!) and so we will now spend this week forcing small pills down their throats twice a day. I'm going to be such a popular person!

Tonight, we are bringing KV home for the week. Wonder how they like dogs?

Autumn or Fall

2009-10-01T12:47:00.000-05:00

Marion's random thought...
Why do we have a season with two names? I know that English is rather a complicated language but was "Autumn" that difficult to spell that we had to simply it to "Fall" in some recognition of what happens to leaves?

Well, whatever the case, the season that begins on September 21st has arrived. Over the last week, we've made a transition from our wonderful lower than average August and September temperatures to the chillier signs of Autumn. Tuesday, when I went to work at the airport, I wore a light jacket and for awhile, I wished I had a warmer one. The wind was a cutting reminder of what it to come. Today, we are being watered by a cool rain. It almost seems to wash away the summer.

I have always loved this time of year though this year, I'm feeling completely unmotivated by it. Usually, I'm anxious to get into our school routine and I love the traditions that the Church calendar brings. Perhaps it is because our life has been so weird for the last 6-8 months, but I just want to curl up and sleep!

For the most part, we have cracked back down to school. Catherine at least has her full lesson plans. I need to spend some time getting Charlene a bit more to do, but it hasn't happened yet this week.

Dana finished his first series of classes last week and has moved on to the next three this week. This time he has computer type classes which will be a welcomed change from the history and English of the last term.

Dana's work at Rockwell has been extended another month. It seems we are destined to live with complete dependence on God for the foreseeable future. A few months ago, this would have brought me great apprehension, but now, I just feel content to exist in this moment and experience whatever God has in store for us.

I have continued with the few hours I had been getting at the airport. Tomorrow, I have an interview for a part-time job through the end of the tax season and Tuesday, I am taking a test for a government job that I will discuss more if it becomes relevant. Soon there will be more hours available at Landmark, but I'm just not certain whether it should be a long-term job for me. In the meantime, I continue to explore logical options.

I have applied to return to school as well and if the details can get worked out that should begin soon. The paperwork and bureaucracy is making me second guess my decision, but we shall see what happens.

Our unpacking process has gone rather well. There are very few things I feel like I still "have" to do. I think the only significant item is getting the garage cleared so Christina has a place inside to park over the winter. Since she will be the main beneficiary there, perhaps that would motivate her to help with the work.

Catherine went to homecoming last weekend with Matt. It seems like they had a good time, even if they did spend most of the night in line to have pictures taken.

Saturday is Dance New York's Fall Showcase. We are looking forward to Paul and Pat joining us for dinner and the showcases. It seems Christina will be rather busy this year. I'll try to get some pictures posted soonish.

I suppose that's about it for now. Soup is on the stove and I'm sure it's time for a nap!

Celebration of Life

2009-09-21T10:20:00.001-05:00

Our travels to California went very smoothly. Thursday, I picked up Dana at work and we drove to Des Moines Airport for our flight. Everything was on time and it was a good flight. We arrived at LAX a little before 10 PM, but by the time we rented a car it was 10:45 before we were on the road. We got to Mom's about 12:40 AM. That wasn't so bad except for our bodies still being oriented to central time. I think our adrenaline was working overtime though and we actually stayed up and visited with Mom and Ginger for quite awhile.

Friday we pretty much hung out at the house a talked. There were stories and memories to be shared. It was good. One of the things that I believe brings us all such comfort was Mom sharing how she and Dad had talked and they didn't have any regrets. They had taken the trips they wanted to take and done the things they wanted to do. They have seen their children grown and with children of their own. Even though life wasn't always perfect, they had a good 58 years and 9 months together!

Saturday morning Bret and Tami came to join us. Bret is the one closet to Mom geographically and so he has been there for her as much as she needed all week. I know Dana and I are very thankful for his presence and how much he has done and I'm sure will continue to do for her with us living so far away.

Dad's brother George and his wife Betty came later in the afternoon. It was good to spend some time with them. I think it's been at least 2004 since we saw George and longer than that for Betty.

We spent some time looking through old photographs. There were pictures of Dad growing up and early ones from when he and Mom were dating. We eventually made it to the early pictures of the kids. I still want that picture of Dana in the sink! He was so cute!

It didn't take long for a Euchre game to break out. I don't know how long it has been a Moreland tradition, but I'm just going to assume forever!

Our time together was good for all of us to reconnect and not only remember Dad, but share stories about the kids and remember that we need to stay in a little closer contact than we have been lately. It's so easy to let things slide and unfortunate it takes something like this to serve as a reminder, but it's good.

Mom has decided to just take some time. She's not going to make any plans for the immediate future. Her next goal is to go for DJ's graduation, but other than that she has no specific plans. She has a home in an area she likes, she's secure and Dad has provided for her. I think she needs some time to just process and live her life without Dad there and see how she feels. I expect there will be good days and bad days, but she's a strong lady and she be okay. I wish we could be closer, but hopefully she'll come out and spend some time with us and get to see the crazy lives her granddaughters live!

I'm not sure I've done justice to our time there, but for now at least, that's all I want to share.

Our trip home was equally smooth. The hardest part was the drive from Des Moines to the house. It just seemed like we would never get off I-80, but we did. It was good to hug the girls again and spend some time catching up with them.